moments..memories..me..

with bricks and beams and love and dreams

2012-01-27T05:04:00.000-08:00

As I am inching towards the completion of construction of my apartment, which is still a long way away, these days it’s all about the house. My browsing has shifted from reading all kinds of blogs to those that are dedicated to home styling and interiors. I don’t even know what I will achieve through this random browsing because all the things that I look for and am drawn to are beyond my affordability. Let’s just say at this point my affordability is near zero. Slowly we will get somewhere someday. But today it’s like wonderland for me. I drift there once every day and create a mental map of what goes where, which colour, what texture, furniture, upholstery, drapes, fittings, accessories, appliances, rugs, towels, crockery, dustbin...everything.

When I was in school, we were once preparing for the new-year decoration on the school bulletin board. And I was in-charge of a very prominent quote that had to come in big and bold on that board. I just knew what I wanted. I wanted a 3D view of it and hence decided to go with thermocol (a very common idea), but there was more to it. I had decided to cut out each alphabet and coat it with oodles of gold shimmer. I could picture the scintillating and sparking alphabets on the centre of the board, totally ruling the show. But when we did the cut outs and coating, they didn’t match the impact I had in my mind. And when we arranged those on the dirty pink (why god why?) background on the board, well, those looked pretty awful. Teachers do appreciate when you put in some effort, so appreciation came along, but not the kind I expected. And there was a good reason behind it - that it looked ordinary.

I live in the fear of doing the same to my house. May be I will just leave it at the basic. May be I will decorate it only after a few years when I have money to buy good stuff and professional designer help. But until then I will have fun wandering in my wonderland :)

This can't be right

2011-07-24T06:06:00.000-07:00

I observed myself walking through the lanes of this life

Had flowers in one hand and in the other had a knife

Because people are of two kinds

One has to do justice, cannot be the same to both the kinds

So here I saw myself meeting all these people

Obviously demonstrating two different behavior with the two different categories

Was handing over flowers to people I hated

And was hurting people I loved

Smiling at people I hated

And screaming at the people I love..

Final Destination

2011-07-23T22:13:00.000-07:00

I am going mad. Heard about the Patalpani tragedy in the news and honestly did not pay any attention to it. News and newspapers are full of accident reports everyday. Later on facebook i saw some people posting the accident video on their walls. I was not keen to watch that either. Especially after witnessing the aftermaths of an accident on Hosur Road flyover just a week back, I was in no mood to see anything distressing like that. And then finally a colleague forwarded that footage on my office mail. Not only did he send the video, he came running and asked me to play it even before i realized i had a mail from him. And then i played it. It was about a 2 minutes video and it is one of the most disturbing thing that i have ever seen. First time played on mute. Then played again this time with volume. Played again to see what was the level of water when they all noticed it and why didn't they run when everyone else did. Then again to see where exactly were they positioned that they could not escape. Each time thinking and wondering if they hadn't done this, if they hadn't done that, and i went on watching the video again and again at least ten times. Before leaving the office that evening, i decided to watch it again as this video was not leaving my head. I wanted to flush it out of my mind so i called an old friend and chatted for a long time, which actually took me away from this story.

After coming back home, when i retired to bed, I found myself thinking about those people. If they would have just sat where they were and waited for help, if they would have ran faster, if they hadn't held to each other.. but finally these permutations and combinations were not going to help. It has already happened. And the result is out there. Unnerving. Were there chances that anyone survived? I hadn't followed the news as such. And then i started googling. To find more videos, longer ones. Some other people talking about what happened. Analysis on how water level rose so much in a matter of few seconds. How people could have rescued them had it not been so quick. Found that the boys survived. Felt a little better but reading the insensitive comments from people was driving me nuts. So many experts being cynical about their actions. Lets be serious, no one wants to die. Think about it, water rose past the danger level in absolutely no time. And all the people who remained stuck belonged to the same family. It didn't take a minute from when it started. Does it not make one believe destiny is all powerful. This came nowhere and finished people of one family alone. I kept my laptop aside and tried to sleep. But then the video kept playing in my head and made me restless. I went back into the internet to explore more. And then slowly I consumed all the information available, and if that wasn't enough, I looked up their facebook profiles also. Now i know their faces, age, from where they did their schooling, what others thought of them, et al.

Idle mind is a devil's workshop. I had no reason to go out and explore all about them, but i did. I shouldn't have done that. It has made me more restless now. I will spend my day wandering today and will not give myself a chance to sit at home alone until I am over this.

Trying to stop confusing God

2011-07-14T08:01:00.000-07:00

There are just too many locks to be unlocked today. The moment I start thinking about it, I start feeling a little smothered. By instinct I always try to avoid facing unpleasantness around me. If ignoring can resolve issues, I ignore. If avoiding can keep me happy I avoid. And every time mind wanders towards these little storages of discomfort, I finally call out to God. I tell God there is nothing you do not know. Why are you doing this to me? Please help me. Please pull me out of this situation. And then if it still doesn’t get better, I again go back to avoiding and ignoring. A small thought goes out towards God also again, "why aren’t you helping me when you are know it all?? Aren't you omnipotent? Please bring everything to order. Please give me some peace and happiness."

My cousin and I were sitting and chatting over a cup of tea on a Sunday morning when she started telling me about the book she is reading these days. Eat, Pray and Love. This name was not alien to me. I knew they have come out with a movie on this book that has Julia Roberts playing the protagonist. I also know while the book received rave reviews, the response to the movie was mild. So I asked her how was she liking the book. She was enjoying the book immensely she told. She went on to tell me some small anecdotes from the book and there was one in particular that caught my attention. Author says, in not these words though, that some of us have a tendency to pray to God without specifically stating what we want. We tend to believe that God knows everything and he will know what we want too. But the truth is until we have a clarity on what exactly we want, God also does not know. We have to be clear in our thoughts and clear in our ask. Google also knows everything, but we need to know what we want information on. We need to provide the search text.

I was sitting wondering this is exactly what I expect from God. No wonder nothing seems to be moving. So I am consciously bringing about this change in the way I pray. Since I do not pray every day so I am not expecting God to change things overnight. But I am certain that now I will get myself heard :)

Lovely 90s

2011-07-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

Listening to Tere Bin Jeena Nahi.. the Bali Brahmbhatt song from the 90s that featured Bikram Saluja and Anupama Varma. Remember loving that song, because of the good looks, the romance in the song, and the song by itself sans all these factors also. I love the 90s. I can listen to 90s forever without getting bored. In my opinion that was the best decade of Indi-pop. The moment I think of Indi-pop, my mind races to lush green Ho Gayee Hai Mohabbat Tumse, the so romantic dooba dooba rehta hoon, the happy happy dhoom pichuk dhoom, Atul Agnihotri charming in his light denim shirt in Oova Oova, super looker Milind Soman coming out of the box in Made in India, Jas Arora and Malaika Arora (in her lavender lehenga) dancing to Gur Naal Ishq Mitha, Zulfi Syed in a yellow sweater in Shankar Mahadevan's tere khayaalon se.., the fashion shows favorite Pari Hoon Main, Anamika singing and dancing in Kahin karta hoga, Stereo Nation crooning O Baby!.., Asha Bhonsle's Jaanam Samjha Karo, the dashing Salil Ankola and very pretty Aditi Govatrikar in Kabhi to nazar milao.. and this list is endless. Those were the days of indi-pop!

And then there were some great music shows on MTV. MTV Select at 4 with Nikhil Chinappa was followed by MTV Most Wanted with Shenaz Treasurywalla. I tried my best not to miss these shows for anything. On the other channels also were some great countdown shows. Philips Top Ten, Ek se badh kar ek, BPL Oye!

Playing the 90s collection on my iPod now, cherishing the memories, and screaming in my head - Once more!

Dhobi waat!

2011-06-23T11:54:00.000-07:00

Conversation with the son of a Dhobi who works somewhere close to my apartment. I had told the apartment security guard about my requirement of a dhobi-with-a-quick-turnaround-time. He found one. So this dhobi sent his son to collect my dirty laundry.

Me: How much do you charge?

Little boy: Friday

Me: Hmm.. ok.. Wednesday?

Little boy: Wednesday.. Appa mdfdfnhenrg perleljrin knksdsdorer phone ljsldlngrtr.

Me: ok friday is fine. But charges? I tried to explain by tossing an imaginary coin in air a few times.

Little boy: blank stare

Me: Ok no problem. But get these on Friday ok.

Little boy: Haan friday. Appa mdfdfnhenrg perleljrin knksdsdorer phone ljsldlngrtr.

This was three weeks back. I do not know where my bed sheets are. And the next worry is when / if I get those back, what amount of my life will I have to sign off to cover the charges. I never phoned Appa. The security guy has assured me he will trace him. "He is a trusted guy and he would have perhaps gone to his village due to some emergency or something", is what I have been told.

Sigh.. waiting! woh subah kabhi to aayegi..

'ts all downhill from here :)

2011-06-22T09:27:00.000-07:00

Alright so have entered the new decade and it is not as bad as i imagined it to be. My face hasn't wrinkled suddenly, I am not grumpier, and not wiser either. My teeth are intact, i lost three teeth in the early twenties though. I have not lost appetite for junk or speed or rock music. So perhaps it is actually not that bad. Friends were gentler than i imagined. I was wicked when some of them touched 30. I am surprised as I am grateful. :)

So guess i am geared for this decade which i have a feeling is going to turn out well. And if it does not go all that good, i will come back and shred this post.

Through the years..

2011-05-19T11:49:00.000-07:00

How nice it feels going through some old conversations and email threads. [See I have already started talking about old emails and conversations, looks like I am way over hand written letters. And by the way I am a big fan of handwritten letters. Just that I am selfish about this. I want to get those letters, but I don’t write those any more.] So coming back to the old email threads and conversations. There is so much nostalgia hidden in them. I absolutely loved reading some of those. Some crazy banter with some friends, some then-philosophical ones that actually sound so funny now, and some silly gossip with the girls’ brigade.

And was intrigued by some too. What intrigued me was how equations do not remain the same between people. How relationships change over the years. Some grow and some thin down, and some just add some flavor - you like it sometimes, you do not mind some times, and you give up on some too. And I also realize there is no trigger that changes these equations. It is we who change as individuals and that makes all the difference. Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, from Fountainhead:

“You know how people long to be eternal. But they die with every day that passes. When you meet them, they’re not what you met last. In any given hour, they kill some part of themselves. They change, they deny, they contradict–and they call it growth. At the end there’s nothing left, nothing unrevered or unbetrayed; as if there had never been any entity, only a succession of adjectives fading in and out on an unformed mass.”

Heavy? Perhaps. But so true. And today I just knew I am one of those people this quote is talking about. The funny part of reading the old chains today was not the things others wrote to me, but what I wrote. It feels like it was someone else talking. Humor that I can no longer relate to, analogies that I cant believe came out of my head while I know they did, and then the flow of words – looks like someone else was living my life before and was a very different person than me. This person was not bad – but was definitely a lot younger, sometimes silly, some times a little crazy, a lot more affectionate and fun.. very different.

500 miles

2011-05-18T12:41:00.000-07:00

This time i was listening to the 500 miles away song - how much i love this song. And then thoughts started following the rhythm of this song. here is a chunk, best way to read this is hum it to the tune of Lord i'm five hundred miles away from home (Peter Paul and Mary)

There are questions in my head

Still there’s song in my heart

This didn’t go any right this way..

You walked in I walked out

I walked in you walked out

This didn’t go any right this way..

Fair winds clear sea

Green lights blue sky

Wish you all things right each day..

Anchors drawn daggers not

It may yeah it may not

Bud I’m five hundred miles away from home..

Life and its WASE

2011-01-16T01:37:00.000-08:00

Coming back to Bangalore after two years, it is taking some effort to fit back in. All the nooks and corners of the Electronic City office is full of memories of friends. The roll numbers on the cafeteria table take me back to our exam days. I could almost picture everybody. All had some distinct characteristics during exam times. Some images are bolder in my memory than others. I dedicate this post to WASE exam times.

Shrestha would refuse to switch off the lights at home, and would sleep on her books almost since a month into the exams. I would swing my hand between her eyes and her books and she would not know a thing, but the moment I would reach the switch tip-toeing my way through, she would miraculously get up and scream. And then I would come back to sleep in the most well-lit place in the world, and in less than a minute she would sell all her horses too.

Akhi would be dialing her SOS numbers a week before the exam, for notes, xerox copies, status update on others' coverage.

Sandy and Shrestha would be sitting in the Lucent work station on the mornings of the exams, frantically reading - Shrestha's revision, and sandy's first look into the books. Akhi and Shweta would be giving them company in the work station. Sandy would be collecting printouts in parallel and Akhi will be asking her to make two copies, realizing these precious notes are missing. :)

Vishal would be surrounded by girls between 6 and 11 pm everyday on the last 15 days. Invited envious looks from other 6 of the famous silent 7. He would finally turn up for the exam in his blue and white plaid shirt - his lucky shirt - and i also think he had a blue and white lucky reynolds pen. :)

Kapil, would have been preparing stapled print-outs and xerox copies of notes for all his worthless friends. I was part of this elite list. He would study very hard too in the last 7 days. i fail to understand how he scored so well in his papers with completely illegible handwriting. Benefit of doubt I guess. :)

Tarun would have slept his days through and would go with selective studying - his selections always worked. :)

Jose, the coolest customer of all. No frantic moments, no group studies till the last minute, always the first one to close studies (can you believe it), he would be prepared with the indexes even. :)

Abhishek relied I think on his knowledge most of the times and hence did not study as much as others. No wonder his answer for a digital electronics multiplication for 7 and 3 was - simple! 7x3 = 21 :D (Wonder what the teacher was thinking before putting this question in a Masters examination paper.) :) :)

Noops would often end up sharing the study room with me, and we would curse ourselves for not studying a thing after gossiping through the night. :)

Dhaani would always enter the examination hall with a white face as if she had just seen a ghost. And on the other side, Nikki would look in control of everything. :)

Varun was Shrestha's brother in exam preps I am told. In Kapil's words - jitna shrestha roti hai ki padhaai nahi hui utna hi hamara vijji bhi rota hai :)

Prity would walk-in almost expressionless, her brows just a little skewed. :)

It was, by the way, always comforting to see Devesh during exam times who, you could sense, would be sitting ram-bharose (god's mercy). :)

Once settled and invigilators walk in, you would see people moving their necks and rotating their head in all directions to be able to pass on the best wishes to all who mattered - completely knowing these wishes only could take them and their friends through.

There is no one in Bangalore EC any more. Sandy left two weeks back. She was the last one to leave. Though we hardly met each other - may be once a week or something, but the thought that she was there was very comforting. I am missing you Sandy, shift back asap.

And all you others settled abroad forever, enough! Come back now!

Errata only for VJ :)

Do they know its Christmas time?

2010-12-22T12:27:00.000-08:00

Come back post after a long hiatus is always difficult. There is so much one wants to write about but do not know where to start from. And one must not write with something really regular as that gives a non-chalant picture of a seemingly indifferent blogger. So I will quietly slip back in to the blogging world with a christmas song that I like a lot :)

"Sin"-ema

2010-09-15T12:43:00.000-07:00

15 inches wide, a very old fashioned computer monitor screen never looked small or old. It was an almost-student life after all. Exams were thankfully over. This was the 'phew!' moment that came every six months. We came back from office. Wanted to rest and do something fun too. So finally settled for a movie. There was a movie rental store around the corner. Any good movie would have done. Lets watch a new hindi movie, suggested Sandy. Ok, so we brought the latest hindi good movie , 15 park avenue, home.

Drew the curtains, switched on the kitchen light, fan on full speed, started the movie and positioned ourselves for some entertainment from the very entertaining Mrs Iyer Konkana Sen. That was the only movie of hers that we had seen so far, and we thought she could act. And we were right. But we wanted some entertainment and here we were watching a very slow, very heavy and a little dark 15 Park Avenue. As if exams were not enough for setting this atmosphere. Ok great ensemble cast, but this was not the mood. Anyway, this being the only movie we had, we went ahead with the plan and continued watching it. What were the options anyway! After a heavy dose, Noopur stretched, sighed, showed her very heavy looking eyelids that she was forcing to keep open. Should we have some chai, asked Noopur. I thought it was a great idea but the very next moment Sandy asked - Milk? Oh no! You are right Sandy, milk is over. :( Noops rolled her eyes. I offered lemon tea. We had one eye set on the movie all along. They reluctantly agreed for lemon tea (they didn’t know they were meeting the best in business). I stepped in the big kitchen area of my small studio apartment (sounds fancier than a hall with kitchen and bathroom). Still an eye on the movie. Those two also got back to being engrossed. The movie suddenly stopped. Probably the system was hung. I was waiting for it to carry on its own. It’s an ordeal otherwise, kill the app, unload the CD, load again, and then position it to the same scene. Noopur broke the short silence. Phans gaya hai, theek karo. Hmm.. coming. The moment I took my first step towards the computer, we saw some white text scrolling up from the bottom. It read – “A film by Aparna Sen”.

There were three stunned faces in the room. We finally got a kick out of this and could not stop laughing. So finally a dull moment was successfully converted into fun time!

Well why did I get reminded of this episode today? I saw ‘The American’. Playing in theatres near you – go watch if you want :)

Snake and Ladder

2010-06-29T18:54:00.000-07:00

Some of us were sitting and discussing company policies the other day, and shared a good laugh just thinking about some of those. I mean there is nothing funny about these godforsaken pain-in-the-butt policies, but sometimes you get a laugh out on the worst of things. Now recently there was a new policy introduced in my organization which has introduced new levels in your promotion ladder. So if you were about to go from Level 2 to Level 3, you will actually be going to Level 2.5, and you are supposed to feel happy that you got a promotion. So basically if you are eyeing 3 for some time, now you get a promotion, and you still have not reached 3. And promotions do not happen everyday right. So you are farther away from your next goal than you were, and its still a promotion, congratulations you lucky one! :)

So this got me thinking a little. What if I was one of the policy makers! How could I contribute to this policy repository with one new master policy that my people would be proud of! And after some serious work I have come up with my proposal. This new policy is called the Snake and Ladder Policy. And the punch line is – Fortune and Fortune 500 favor the brave! So this policy comprises of a normal a-step-a-time ladder (which technically is no ladder, just a step) and a real ladder (which means you could jump multiple levels at a time if you were in a right place at the right time). So progress is assured, but the progress can also be exponential. Now the only twist to this tale is, and you should never look at this as a twist but always as a challenge, that there are also snakes in between. Some small harmless ones that may throw you down a few steps, or a few venomous vipers (remember the snake at 98) that can slide you down really low. But then as they say – if it ain’t rough, it ain’t right! So rough that this journey may sound, several attempts and you will be back soon in the 90s, running again for the ultimate destination.

Fortune favors the brave. So support this policy if you believe in yourself. If you are not supporting this, you are not trusting in your abilities which just prove that you do not look promising for any elevation at all.

Special note for only some special people:

No ladder takes you beyond 89.
There are 6 snakes deployed between 90 and 95, one at each step. So whoever crossed over has crossed over, no one can make it past 89 in the future at all.
There are some ladders that originate from outside the board that have the ability to take you past 95. This is not a common knowledge and cannot be used by anyone within the system.

I think this policy is going to be one phenomenal one and will appeal to all policy makers across corporate world. So if you want me to work on it with you, please let me know and I will work on it with you. I will charge in dollars though. After all this is brilliant, isn’t it! Be the first one to implement… GO!

Dirty Thirty

2010-06-29T18:16:00.000-07:00

So one more year wiser. And an inch from the worst birthday ever. Life is divided into two parts, before thirty and after thirty. Last year of the golden period before I cross over to the next part never to come back. I was talking to a colleague here, and he said well 40s are the new 30s and 30s the new 20s. I said I wanted to believe him and felt a little better.

Now a few days back I was talking to a friend and I asked what she was doing. She said she was listening to some niiiice old songs. The immediate song that played in my head was yeh raatein yeh mausam nadi ka kinaara.., a beautiful black and white song, while I waited for her answer. And then she went ahead and answered my question - I was listening to DDLJ songs.

DDLJ!! OLD?? So I do not believe my colleague any more. Old age is here already! :(

And if someone wants to say age is just a number, and you should stay young at heart, my reply would be, No, age is NOT just a number. It is till you are in your 20s, but post that, it is NOT. You can not NOT care about age. It is touchy. It is old.

Wise men say...

2010-06-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

“Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.” ~ Andrew Warhola (as read on Paulo Coelho’s blog)

The more I think about this line, the more real it sounds. The journey to achieve a dream or attaining something almost impossible is sweeter than the sweet final outcome of having achieved it. The quest is intoxicating, once reached, is very gratifying, but what next?

And please believe me I do not make references to myself too much in my blog unless I explicitly state it. These are just thoughts and not my reality. This was thought provoking and the debate in my head is out in this post. The debate perhaps will still continue some more.

mere ghar aana..

2010-05-23T15:07:00.000-07:00

Jhingur jo shor the, unhi ka saath hai aaj kal

Ghanton kaise katein jab mushqil hai har ek pal

Mere ghar se kuchh bhi beshaq le kar jaao tum

Jhinguron se na mera tum peechha chhudana..

..kabhi fursat mile to mere ghar aana..

its complicated!

2010-05-20T18:54:00.000-07:00

No I do not think this is true. It can’t be. God made just one man, and just one woman. Just two human beings? Then how did the world diversify so much?? This is a lot of diversification. Take looks now. You can tell by the look of an individual which geography does he walk. But how did it all start. If climatic conditions only could make such difference, why would all multiple generation Afro-Americans in United States and all the multi-generations Asians too, not look like their American friends. I think God sneaked in some more individuals of different kinds when no one was looking.

If music be the food of love, play on!

2010-05-18T20:16:00.000-07:00

How I wish I could sing well! How I wish I could play some instrument with ease and finesse. I could feel my fingers moving to some tunes automatically. I just knew it is about getting the keys right, I already have a sense of notes. But alas!

For the past few days I have been fooling people by putting my status message as “I am in love with my Piano”. This piano is just a very neat iPhone application. And well it works like a keyboard and you have to play it like a keyboard. It is not a game or anything else, it is a mini piano. (So technically my message wasn't entirely untrue.)

But I am struggling with it since its few days of existence in my world. I have not been able to play a single full song so far. I keep toying with the keys, but naah! Just does not seem to play the tune in my head. Guess it is not that easy after all. I have not given up though. Let’s see what lasts longer – patience, interest, iPhone. :)

By the way, here is a piece of music that i discovered recently and liked a lot. Hope you like it as much as i did.

e-go and do not come back!

2010-05-17T21:50:00.000-07:00

I rode the high tide, conquered the seven skies, and earned the most coveted crown

I could have continued the saga and danced with the angels too but my ego took me down..

Its a Movie kind of love..!

2010-05-12T17:07:00.000-07:00

And I glide into the darkness and slide into a cushioned comfortable seat, chewing on popcorn, blackberry turned silent, aloof from the outside world, I allow myself to be engulfed into the surround sound of Dolby Digital. Trailers are important. I do NOT want to miss trailers of coming movies and hence prefer reaching for a movie ten minutes early. Perhaps the only place in the world where I reach ten minutes early. I love watching movies in theatre. I am not quite a movie buff outside it though.

When I was in Bangalore, the online bookings for a new movie opening on Friday started on Wednesday mornings. So as soon as I was up and awake on Wednesday mornings, straight to www.pvrcinemas.com and safe number of tickets booked. Safe number because now who would call everyone and ask if they were interested in watching a certain movie. I would count the least number that would surely turn up for a show and booked for all of them. Though recovering money later was always a tad painful. People always turned up though. PVR was my favorite haunt in Bangalore without a doubt. There were days when I was unable to work because of some bad migraine, so I started early from office. And on the way back I thought how comforting it would be to sit in the darkness and AC and enjoy a coffee and a movie without being disturbed. And believe me this formula worked on me.

Movies in US were a different experience altogether. Sometimes you feel like Maharani of Patiala because you and your friends are the only few people in the auditorium. Mostly you can have the row you desire completely to yourself and there are only a handful more people in the audi. So tickets are hardly an issue. IMAX is an exception to the rule though.

18 months in US, 61 movies and of course still counting..

The End.

Main der karti nahi, der ho jaati hai...

2010-05-02T13:51:00.000-07:00

According to my previous day’s plan, I wanted to be in office at 8. This incidentally was exactly the time when I got up this morning. What followed was chaos! Rushing and running and rushing and running and finally after half-an-hour I stepped out of the house. I reached my car to realize I did not have my car keys in my bag. I went back inside once again to get the car keys. Were not at the right place. These things irk me no end. I have designated spot for all my keys and maintain this discipline fairly well, but just on the day I am getting late for office, keys are not in place. Well it did not take too long to find it as it was sitting alone on the corner table in the living room. I picked it up, came out, got in the car, and started for office. As soon as I came out of my parking lot and crossed the next parking lot, my eyes fell on a girl standing next to the bus stop bench who was waving at a taxi far distant. In any case, these taxis do not usually stop just by waving, you need to call the agency. She was in tears. As my car moved closer to her, she expectantly looked at my car, and at me. I knew there was a story. I stopped the car and rolled down the right window. I looked at her. She leaned forward as if pleading but she had lost her speech and could not find it till this moment. I asked – are you alright?

RIT? Yes, there was a question mark. RIT is short for Rochester Institute of Technology. She was asking me if I was going that side.

No, I am going in the other direction. [Small pause] Anything urgent?

I don’t know which bus now, I missed my shuttle. It is my first day today and am late. I do not know how to go. Can you tell me when the next bus is?

I could make out she was very tensed and I also knew there was no fast alternative. I was left with two choices, leave the kid on her own, after all she has come a long way from her country, she better learn to manage on her own; and second, well get further delayed to office, drop her to RIT.

Ok I will drop you, come sit.

Are you sure? She asked, eyes visibly lit up suddenly.

Yes, I said.

Thank you so much! She jumped into my car. I asked her to wear the seat belt. She did not waste any time and wore the seat belt while still having her backpack on her back. We started. I asked her which course –

Bachelors. Thank you so much. Hey no not this way. We should have taken a left.

Don’t worry, I know where RIT is. But I am taking this route because, one, it is picturesque and two, no one is going to catch me for speeding, it is deserted.

We reached RIT in five minutes (it is actually very close). I dropped her at the gate and she thanked me. She insisted on me giving her my number. Apparently she wanted to call me later and thank me for all of this. I did not know why this was so important, she already thanked me, but I gave her my number. She smiled, bowed and said thanks and then ran inside.

I was late to work, not only by my standard but by all standards, was not guilty about it, and in fact felt a wee bit smug too :)

Conditional Democracy..

2010-04-10T22:10:00.000-07:00

Seven years old Ted was playing in his room on the Sunday morning. It was quarter to 12 and his Mom gave him a shout to come down for lunch. As per the usual routine, when Mom asks to come down for the meal, it means all the toys in the right places and the room tidied up. Today was different. He continued playing for ten more minutes and then went down for lunch. He obviously did not mention this on the lunch table and lunch was as usual. After lunch when Mom came upstairs and peeked into Ted’s room, she could see toys lying all over the place. Her temper shot up.

Ted what’s going on? Why are these toys outside? Why is your room in a mess?

You see Mom, in school we had a lesson on democracy. I know now that United States is a democracy and hence all the citizens have a right to their opinion. In my opinion I want my room to be my way and this is the way I think I want it to be. This is my federal a right as I am also an equal citizen.

Mom was dumbstruck for a second. But just for a second.

Ted, do you know the difference between democracy and dictatorship?

No, but I am aware dictatorship is the next lesson coming up in school.

Ok, follow me now. And she walked out of the door.

Mom where are we going? Ted followed Mom who was stepping down the stairs.

You will know in a minute.

She walked past the dining room to the garage door and opened the door.

Now step out into the garage.

He obliged, still perplexed clueless about this whole thing.

Ok Ted, now listen. This is the threshold. She pointed to the edge of step that went down into the garage. What goes on your side of the threshold is termed as Democracy. And what goes inside is called Dictatorship. So if you want to live in a democracy, do things your way, stay out. But if you want to live in this house, you will have to live by my rules. Take your pick.

Ted, visibly upset due to the introduction of this new dimension, asked - where will I go Mom?

That’s up to you son, if you want to live in democracy, figure out where you want to be. I can allow you to stay in the garage. I am your Mom after all. But if you want to go back to your room, you know what to do.

Yes Mom, said a disappointed Ted.

He came back in and headed straight to his room. All the toys were in place in the next 5 minutes.

An excerpt..!

2010-04-07T19:09:00.000-07:00

These streets often haunted my memories. There was a sepia picture stored somewhere, popped out time and again. Sweet but painful memories. Painful, because they lived just as past. I could not turn them into my present. Wish I could donate my future to someone else who could do something useful with it.

Here I was, on the same streets, decades later. There was anxiety as there was fear. I stood in front of the gate that I had never seen before, of a majestic house, that looked aged but with dignity. I pressed the bell. I heard some foot-steps approaching. Could it be him? What will I say? Will he recognize me? Footsteps came closer and I could see across the bars at the bottom of the gate that these feet did not look old enough.. and not as fair either. Gate opened. I could see a man in his twenties. Could he be his son? He was a pleasant looking lad. Dark brown eyes glowing against the sun. Same eyes.

Bete, who are you?

Auntie who do you want to see?

Do they live here anymore at all? I did not even care to see the name plate. Is there one outside the gate? I could not spot one.

Well.. does Mr Ram Kumar live here?

He suddenly looked up and scanned my face. Was he looking for expressions? He looked at my face searching something in my eyes. His face fell a little, and eyes suddenly stopped glinting. I was looking at him for an answer. Pause was a little unsettling.

No Auntie. He does not live here.

He does not? Oh I am sorry? He lived here some years back. I did not mean to disturb, I just came looking, wondering if he still is here. But of course I am talking about many years back. He would have changed bases. Life does not..

Auntie, he did not change his bases. His eyes welled.

Oh! My eyes welled too at the possibility of the feared. Aa..I am..
No Auntie. He is here. You just did not ask right question. He does not live, he just exists… Please come in and meet him. He has waited for you long enough.

Tears streamed out of my eyes. I entered the gate feeling… guilty..

Missing the Mania...

2010-04-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

I remember waking up to cricket (quite literally) during 92 world cup. It used to be some big occasion in my house. My dad would set an alarm for 3am. He would be up and tv switched on as soon as the alarm went off. My uncle who was visiting us would join him and my mom would rush to make some tea. It looked like some festival. Discussions going on endlessly in front of the television, variation in commentators voices according to the shots played and stage of the game, crowd cheering in the background, it was impossible not to let that excitement engulf you. Game was not difficult to understand, was lot of fun, and I felt part of the grown up discussion if I understood and appreciated what was worth. Soon I was glued to the game.

And then series after series, the fondness grew stronger. Addiction was such that tremendous restlessness would set in if a match is on and we are unaware of the score. In school, there were always some boys in the class who sneak out from the school fences and bring the latest scores from the nearest neighborhood. As much as there were celebrations when India won, there was crying and Leave-me-alones also when we lost. And if losing was against our arch-rivals, then whining continued a tad longer. Walkman with radio was sneaked into college classroom where we three friends, all cricket fanatics, would share the headphones and follow the entire commentary. Once we did get caught. Before we could even get scared the teacher in the class asked what the score was. :) They do not exaggerate when they say Cricket is a religion in India. It SO is.

As the whole household was cricket crazy, and friends no different, this one sport gave us so many splendid moments to rejoice, to celebrate, to laugh and to dance even. I remember my mom running out of the house bare feet and the next door aunty also coming out screaming with joy when Indian won in Bangladesh in 98. My brother was out on the streets dancing with joy when a stranger stopped his bike and asked – “did we win?” and joined him in right there on the middle of the road upon hearing the response.

There was party in the house when Kumble claimed all 10 in Feroze Shah Kotla. It was so awesome! And Sachin, time and again this one man gave us so many reasons to celebrate. Be it his Sachin-storm in Sharjah, or his flamboyant performance in the world cups, especially in 96 world cup. Sachin was a phenomenon and he still is no less! Less flamboyant but no less a genius.

When Dada removed and waved his shirt, it did not suit sensibilities of many. After all it is a gentleman’s game. But we absolutely loved what he did as this is how this game is played – with passion! Moreover, he was just returning the gesture, albeit a little stronger but who cares!

After coming to Bangalore, not having a tv for some years, and then with the working hours that we usually had, cricket was mostly followed on cricinfo and was strictly restricted to Indian matches. It still gives me gooseflesh thinking about the India-Pakistan finals in the T20. We, few friends from office, rushed to Dominoes, the nearest location we could think of with a tv. And we reached there in a good time and got place to sit. There were so many like us who came in a while later and they were left standing. Not to forget scores of them standing outside and watching through the glass wall. This match went into the final over and the suspense was killing. I have never seen a place so crowded so silent. People were tensed, some hands clasped praying, some fingers fidgeting, some people taking deep sighs and trying to breathe when it is not coming easy, and then the last wicket fell when Misbah lofted the ball to short fine leg and was caught there. And the crowd went totally berserk. You could see absolute strangers congratulating each other, and celebrating together. Who cares who is sitting with whom and who knows whom? We all were cheering for one side, there was a commonality that bound us together, and hence we all celebrated together. Such is the spirit of the game.

After I came out of the county about 18 months back, Indian cricket continued seeing some splendid games. But somehow Indians here get so entwined in their lives, and some lose interest in the game, there isn’t that energy here. I kept following cricket on cricinfo. Between hectic days and frustrating work schedule, I woke up one morning, to catch on some pending work. Logged on to laptop and logged into gmail too to see a friend’s status saying – Sachin, Sachin, Sachin, Sachin! I knew this was special. I called my Dad immediately and he just knew why I called. There was unmistaken excitement in his voice too. No hello, he said “what?” And I replied with the same –what? replicating the excitement. He replied - yes, he is playing on 198. He did not have to explain who and I had no doubts in my mind either. And when he finally reached the landmark figure, it was so incredible!! The crease on my forehead vanished not to return the same day at least. My day went so well after that. There were few who I could share the news with. Actually I shared with all, but very few who reciprocated the excitement.

And now IPL! I did not have favorites to begin with. But since I am a Sachin fan, Mumbai Indians it is. No one else looks excited here about IPL. And this makes me miss India so much. I want to feel the excitement. I want to go back :(

Hilarious :D

2010-03-31T21:27:00.000-07:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Deep Space Naan

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Reform

Lessons

2010-03-26T15:29:00.000-07:00

Having spent some good number of years in the IT industry on the technical side, I understand this side of the industry now. Being here and keeping my eyes open has helped me get the rhythm of this industry! I have not made it in life already that time now to start a book. But I have never hesitated from sharing what I have learnt. Lessons were many and upon “public” request, I am sharing some. :)

Ask for it: If you want it, work towards it. But at the same time express the desire to have it. Make your bosses aware that you are aspiring for it. Say it.

Value yourself: Open your eyes to the fact that there are a lot of people making mistakes and while it is great to be passionate about winning, don’t hold yourself always responsible if you do not win as beautifully as you would have wanted; or even if you did not win at all. (Unless you are sure you screwed the entire thing :) )

Don’t think you are indispensable: Anyone and everyone can be replaced. Steve Jobs was kicked out of Apple and Apple survived. Vivek Paul moved out of Wipro and nothing (apparently) changed. Sunil Gavaskar and Kapil Dev retired and Indian Team survived. Who do you think you are?

Death is near if you do not know how to survive: Software goes obsolete, hardware goes obsolete, and humans are no different. Till no one notices, you are like a chewing gum which is in the mouth for over two hours. Sugar gone, flavor gone. The moment one pays attention, you will be out in the big black plastic bag. It is important to keep learning. Or be ready to land in the big black plastic bag.

Learn to ignore: Some jargons used in industry are insensitive but are cool you know. So if you are being addressed as a Resource, or you are the Body that is getting shopped, close your eyes to it. These are harmless words and someone is feeling good and in vogue mouthing these. Some people are not even aware that this may sound insensitive and they utter it because what’s the problem – everyone says it. Let the ignorant be happy.

Humility is a boon: Never forget it at home. You will always perhaps be noticed but never be respected if you are not humble. Don’t demand respect, command respect.

Growth: Please be logical. Just because you are the best coder around does not mean you are ready to lead the team. There may be someone who is not as good a coder, but is extremely meticulous in his work and has a good knowledge of process too. Why should a not-so-good-coder code and the good coder lead? Leading does not meaning writing good code. Have you heard of the Rabbit story? Get it here.

More some other time.

Baba

2010-03-20T22:33:00.001-07:00

Baba, my granddad. I never saw him. When I was at an age I started asking questions, I found myself getting drawn to his portrait in my room. The stories that I heard about him, from Amma (my grandmom) or my Dad and Mom always infused tremendous respect in me for him. As a child when I asked them where he was, I was told that he had gone to Himalayas to meditate, to worship. No one though added the next line that I somehow added in my head – that he will come back some day. And when I reached an age where I started understanding what a garland on a picture meant, I could not believe that his picture had a garland. I wanted to meet him. For me he was the most affectionate most understanding man. I wanted to meet him, even if it meant a long wait. In my child thoughts about how people always misunderstood me, I knew he knows it all. I found him always looking at me from his picture, and he had a slight smile. This was almost reassuring that he understood me and loved me. I had this belief that he will return some day. I trusted his wisdom to know me and understand me and never misinterpret me. I wish I never had that wisdom to understand he was gone forever, and that he would never return. I wanted to meet him so much. He was my favorite.

Reclaimed

2010-02-21T21:53:00.000-08:00

There was a lot going on. A lot! I was sleepless for days together and I was feeling like a zombie. And then this trip came up. It clashed with an important milestone at work, but I decided heck there is always something or the other going on at work. I put my personal life under axe like all the time and this is most definitely going to be an exception. And I was convinced I was not cancelling my trip.

Days were busy – is an understatement. Days were crazy and Thursday was no exception. I had meetings till 4 and flight at 5.35. But you got to do what you got to do. In this case I had to go. So I approached the day with a little extra care, to be able to rush through the day as early as possible, but finally day got over at the anticipated time – 4. I left for the airport. My luggage was in the trunk of a friend’s car already so there was no detour planned. I was heading out to Charlotte to meet and spend weekend with a friend. She had an off day on Monday and that’s why this weekend worked the best. People who know me know I do things at the last minute. So she made a few phone calls to make sure I was on schedule an d was not forgetting anything. So far so good. Reached airport at 4.30 and was at the check-in counter at no later than 4.32. No queue, straight up the counter, collected my boarding pass, checked in my bag, was informed about the hour and a half flight delay and went ahead to the security check. Not a bad day really at security check either. Was through in another ten minutes. And then I had like almost two hours to go. So I made a couple of phone calls first. Then took a paper napkin and a pen to draw the state transition diagram I had in my head since the previous day of work. It got over in no time again. So I headed to the book store at the airport. This was the closest book store from the gate I was supposed to take off from. Browsing through some Jane Austen’s, and some on world war II, I was convinced I was not inclined towards either today. Started browsing world authors section. It had a neat collection of Indian authors. Amitav Ghosh, Vikram Seth, Shobha De, Aravind Adiga, and more. And I knew I wanted to pick up a Shobha De. But did not know which one. So got busy reading the cover backs.

It was going to be 6. Flight was scheduled for a 6.50 departure. I decided to check if the gates were same as printed on my boarding pass. I went to the nearest Flight timetable and scanned it for my flight number. Could not spot it. I took out the folded thin paper boarding pass from my pocket and checked for the flight number. Yes, I was looking for the right number. So I scanned the screen once more. Still not displayed. Darn Continental! Come on you can do better. I moved to the boarding gate, which had a Continental Airlines staff scribbling something on a notepad. I asked her if she was aware of the flight status. She looked at my boarding pass and said, it just left. And with, God knows why, a quizzical look on her face asked me – where were you? You missed your flight Mam.

I did what!? You got to be kidding me. How can I miss my flight! It was scheduled for 6.50 and it is 6.05.

Yes, but it was not the scheduled departure, it was the anticipated departure time because there was a delay in arrival of the aircraft. But we managed to complete the boarding in 15 minutes after it came in because we always want to make up for the lost time. And we paged for you a couple of times.

But how can I not hear when you page for me? When did you page for me? (I was being a little unrealistic at this point of time because I was so shocked. What was the big deal in not hearing it when all my attention was towards the books)

Another gentleman had joined this lady by now and he said, I paged for you myself Miss Ajay (and he said it as a-zh-ae). He went on to say, I know it is possible I would not have called your name correctly but we announced boarding and departure of the flight also a couple of times. I am sorry. Let me see what we can do best in these circumstances.

Still in shock and completely still in shock, this sounded like some hope. “Yes please! You know I need to go. It is important. Book me in the next.”

He gave me a reassuring look and looked at this computer screen. He looked at it for couple of seconds which looked like eternity to me. He raised his head in slow motion and said – the best I can do is I can confirm you on the Monday morning flight.

Monday morning! We are on Thursday evening right now. I am going for the weekend and Monday is when I come back. Can you find out if there is something available with any other provider?

Well, I can look up for you, give me a moment. And then he raised his head again to say I think with others also the fastest you can move out is going to be Tuesday morning.

My eyes welled up, but I was not crying, not yet. He suggested I should go and pick up my bag from the carousel in the baggage area.

I walked out, totally unable to digest the entire thing. A trip planned so much in advance, days spent finishing up work to make it happen, day spent to make sure I reach in time putting a cap on all that was important, and finally getting to the airport in time. Missing the flight sitting at the airport was UNREAL.

I reached the baggage area and saw my lone bag sitting on a carousel that was not even moving. It was very quiet around here. And that’s when it sunk in – I missed my flight. My screwed up life was getting worse by the minute. There were moments, there were people slipping out from my hand like sand and I was unable to tighten a grip on anything. This plane too took off without me, with confidence, without feeling apologetic. Why to feel bad about running down someone who everyone runs down. I felt like a loser! I felt enraged!

I called up my friend who I was supposed to visit – holding back my tears and fighting that lump in my throat, I said – I missed my flight.

“No you did not. What? Are you serious?” She was convinced I was goofing as I do that a lot.

I really did.

How????

I don’t know, I just did. Lump started showing in my voice.

Oh! Ok, don’t feel bad. It’s ok. Some other time. Go back home.

What do you mean by go back home? I missed my flight but that does not mean I am not coming. (I had no idea what I was talking about right now). Now get on the internet and find me a ticket.

Did you try looking for one?

Yes I did and they say there is no way I can go out. Not today, not tomorrow, and hell not after that either.

Ok, with a question mark. So what do you want me to do?

Find me another flight.

It is going to be expensive if we get one too.

I don’t care. (I wanted to get over this Loser feeling. I was ready to pay any price for it) Find me anything. ANYTHING! Please!

She was ruffled by now. “Ok let me see”. Walking between two aisles in Walmart, she applied brakes and started thinking what could she do. She called up a friend and asked him to help her research this.

In less than 5 minutes I got a call from her – urgency in her voice – Anu, run towards US Airways. They have a flight leaving in another 30 mins, they probably are boarding now. This will take you till Laguardia airport. You will get a connection from there in an hour and you will be here by 12.

I ran towards US Airways counter and asked the lady at the counter if there she could book me into the next flight and the connection to Charlotte. Her immediate answer was – you are late. Then she saw the trauma on my face and she said let me check. She tapped a few keys and said, “even if I let you board this one, there is no seat available on the connection. It is overbooked already.”

But the website is showing some seats available.

I am not sure why because we are really booked.

My face fell and she sympathized. “Let me see what I can do.” She got back to her computer screen. I got a call from Yo, my friend, again to check if I was in for some luck. I told her there wasn’t any good news so far. She started researching for more. And I just remained connected on the phone for any information. Lady at the counter asked me what if there was none today, would I like to try something for tomorrow. I told her that was my last option. I will also take something that goes till close by if not Charlotte. She went back to her screen and confirmed again there was nothing absolutely. You could tell by look on her face that she was sympathizing with me. I, dejected and disappointed, went back into the phone looking for any other half chance.

Couple of minutes (that looked liked eternity) later, that lady called me and said – if you believe in God, time to thank now. Someone just cancelled a ticket and hence we may be able to book you to Raleigh, 138 miles away from Charlotte. I immediately confirmed without any hesitation. And guess what, I was finally booked from Rochester to Raleigh. One stop.

Some phone calls later, my car was booked and ready too. I was at the boarding gate and this time I kept a close tab on all announcements and proceedings on that gate. I finally boarded the flight. I reached Philadelphia at about 10 and RAN to the next gate. My next flight was in a difference of 40 minutes. I reached the gate well ahead of time only to find out the flight was delayed. We waited for about an hour and boarded the flight at about 11.30. Reached Raleigh at 1. I picked up my car and tried to be on the road asap. But the car won’t move. I looked at the dashboard and realized the brake light was on. My hand moved to catch hold of hand brakes. But it was not where I have it in my car. Now I had a Toyota that looked awesome but I did not know how to move it. So after 5 minutes after sitting and searching, I switched on the light and pulled out the manual. After some effort I figured out where the damn brake was. And then finally I was on my way. Headed straight in the wrong direction. Knew from the word go I was headed in the wrong direction but got the first opportunity to correct my mistake after 3 miles. So I was x+3 miles away from destination after driving 3 miles already. At that hour it was no fun. Driving was strenuous and tiring, and I reached my destination at 4 in the morning.

I was exhausted, but I was happy. There was a sense of accomplishment!

Reality Show my foot!

2010-01-23T20:29:00.000-08:00

Had heard so much about this show called The Moment of Truth. Finally got around watching it recently for the first time on YouTube. (Ok I reach late everywhere). And I was aghast! I was stunned at the kind of questions that were asked. Money does attract people but you can not finish them in the name of entertainment. Some understand the consequences only when they face them. Reality shows are entertaining but there needs to be a limit to everything. Money has this tantalizing effect on people but well this is something else. Everyone has secrets, who doesn’t?

But washing someone’s dirty laundry in public in the name of entertainment and luring participation offering some small money (which most of the times they are unable to bag – and mind you it IS small for the price one has to pay later) is criminal. I think the episode I watched was one that made maximum news, where they successfully put a “The End” to a woman’s not so bad if not a super exciting married life. She clearly did not understand the repercussions while playing the game. And as the game unfolded, her winning kept getting higher, but her loss was worsening with every question. After a point, she perhaps got immune, and she just wanted to blurt out all the truth because “there was nothing left to hide any more”. And then comes a killer question – Do you think you are a good person? Now, what kind of question is this! As simple as it may look, it is not a mere Yes or No kind of question. It is not Black or White kind of question. There will be conflicts in the mind of a person who has led a life the way she has. And she comes up with a Yes. But the intelligent detector does not think she has given the right answer. And here she is, confessing to just everything, on national television, blowing up her marriage, bowing to an Ex (who I am sure will be on a high with the whole world knowing he is so sought after), and going back with NOTHING!

What’s life shattering for one is entertaining for others. And I am not talking about morality and things, am just talking about a behavior here. Someone’s life is getting ruined with so much drama, a TV channel presents to us as entertainment, making some big money out of it, and we do not mind taking a peak in someone’s life at all. Hell we love our gossip sessions. Who needs a kaamwaali bai to give some fresh masala for our unabashed ears and blatant mouths? We get our gossip quota direct from TV. No effort required. Served on a platter.

I did sit through the entire episode, and then was thinking of going for the second one. But I am glad I decided not to. Thankfully conscience decided to wake up.

Move on?

2010-01-14T19:12:00.000-08:00

She was curled up like a ball in her bed. It was eleven in the morning. It wasn’t a weekend either. But she had no desire and no strength to get up. He finally walked out on her. She had never imagined he would do that. He always had love in her eyes when they were together. He was the mushy one in the relationship. He was the one who brought up discussions like names of their kids in conversations. He was the one who would come up with the plan of their dream house every now and then and get dreamy eyes about it too. He made the rule of he cooking for her once a week at least after they were married. And he made the rule of one vacation a year where he would break her phone in two if she used it at all. He was the more emotional one when she was leaving for this four months course, ofcourse to come back as soon as it got over. She felt everything and more, never could express it, never felt the need to, and loved it when he did. Her eyes carried appreciation for him and she knew he understood that. But she was gone for just four months when he changed his mind. In the pretext of – you deserve some one better than me. hunh! Friends had warned her about him. But he convinced her that he was genuine. He looked genuine. He loved her. She felt it. She hated herself for feeling love in this relationship when there wasn’t any. She had set some values for herself. She shouldn’t have overlooked those. A drop silently escaped her eye and rolled down. She had never imagined this. He was a master. He got all he wanted. Use and throw. She felt uneasy in her feet. She knew he used her. She didn’t know when she was using her, all was love, all was good. People say move on. Can she ever? Easier said than done. Really. She can not reverse the time. She wanted to kill him. How could he do it? How could he just crush her this way? She was filled with rage. Friends are now saying move on. Had it been this easy. Had it been a sheet written on with a pencil that she could erase all the marks.

Lean on me..

2010-01-10T20:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain

We all have sorrow

But if we are wise

We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride

If I have things you need to borrow

For no one can fill those of your needs

That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear

That you can't carry

I'm right up the road

I'll share your load

If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand

We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have a problem that you'd understand

We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

Till I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

Lean on me...

Questions?

2010-01-10T15:36:00.000-08:00

Questions buried in the deep abyss

Answers float freely on the shore

What good are answers my friend

If you are unaware of the questions they answer.

In younger days, as a student, I used to try and read the entire book before the exam. In a nervous attempt to do so, sometimes I used to skip the titles. So I knew the answers but I did not sometimes know the questions they answered. Things have not changed much.

I still do not know the questions.

Yaad aayeinge yeh pal..!

2009-12-11T22:47:00.000-08:00

My feet felt suffocated. My legs felt hung without support. I was restless in my sleep. I knew something was odd but could not place what. And then suddenly they breathed. They were freed from that predicament. And then there was a tap on my shoulder, after which my leg felt rested too. And my soul finally was at peace.

A busy intersection in Bangalore. An ocean of people all around. I grunted, grrrrr-ed and turned around, to pace ahead, and more importantly AWAY. But then I felt a tug on my jacket. A further tug on me. My head was tempted beyond imagination to lose cool.

Some not so memorable days, when there was that one extra sound in my throat, and one extra pulse in the heart. When back ached to get rid of that pulse. Some warmth was endowed and then after a brief trance, everything seemed much better. And hence this isn’t so bad a memory finally.

Together everywhere, package deal, buy one get one free. Who ever invited one, had to invite the other. Poor inviters! Were stuck.

Sharing is joy. It was indeed. Fighting is fun. It was indeed. Every equation, every relationship has to stand a test of time. And it did, indeed. After being coined as Tom and Jerry of the class, ignoring each other on many days out of the many many days we stayed together, howling and screaming, and exceeding each other’s expectations in putting a drama while fighting, but pouncing on and ripping on just about anybody who tried to step in to resolve issues, friendship matured and was proven.

The one who removed my shoes and tapped my shoulder to make me realize my hanging legs can be put on bed on those crazy days of work. The one I fought with at a busy intersection in Bangalore, and then she pulled me to fight further when I was trying to pull away – and this time I didn’t pull away. Always ready to give me the healing touch (she knows Reiki, and is good at it) on the days my breathing hurt. My room-mate for five years, and my friend for life, is embarking on a new journey towards being someone else’s room-mate for lifetime. And I am not jealous, not complaining!

Wishing you two a beautiful life full of glee and bliss!

Love always!

What's in a name anyway!

2009-11-03T15:38:00.000-08:00

Something really wrong today. Have been working with a gentleman who owns a business we support for the last 12 months. His name is Tony. I usually don’t get to see him too often. Usually it is limited to phone calls and emails. But I had to meet him today. Pleading to give me more business. And what do I do. I keep calling him Tom all through. And every time I call him Tom, I realize, apologize, and correct myself. Now I have a reason if he does not give business to me. Anyway, a little while later, I meet a guy in the hallway whose name is Anuj. I know for over a year now that his name is Anuj. And I have always called him Anuj. Upon meeting him this afternoon, I go hey Anshul, how are you! And keep walking. The next second I realize my mistake but I just keep walking hoping he wouldn’t have heard me. This is a little unlikely though. There is a limit to embarrassment but guess not sometimes. If this was not enough already here is the final one. I am working, and i get a call from someone called Dawn. I saw her name flashing. And guess how I answer this call - Dawn speaking!

I guess I should go home now.

Old is Gold..!

2009-10-28T21:29:00.000-07:00

nostalgic snapshots in b-n-w, sway as they hum

holding on to some and losing out on some

funny feeling in the gut, strange and unclear

seems objects in rear-view mirror are closer than they appear

Networking Not Working

2009-10-28T13:26:00.000-07:00

Social networks are the order of the day. Since the time internet fever caught up and broadband connections were made available in common households the world has found a need to connect (which is good!). So the social network sites became very powerful. You found some, some found you, and before you knew, almost everyone you knew and perhaps would you smile at when you meet, was on your friend’s list. But then you started noticing that you were getting repeated scraps from people who are on your friend’s list but not exactly “friends”, asking the same “hey! How are you?” How many times do you want to answer the same question when you know they are more concerned about the number of scraps they can boast of (apparently commensurate with popularity quotient) than any concern to your good health or the lack of it? And then you get automatically logged on to some messenger and then someone wants to chat too. You have matured (“aged” was the first choice of word) a little, have no patience for chatting, so-what if you accepted a friend request from the person in question. So then you found out there is a brahmastra available which you took pretty long to figure out - the life savior “invisible” mode. Now you can log on with ease without the fear of getting caught and do all the browsing you want.

You are basking in the glory of having fooled this world and in some time you realize if you are ignoring the world, the world is not taking any particular interest in you either. Out of sight out of mind you see. Ah! This is not working too well now. So you start writing into scrapbooks here and there, comment on photos that were uploaded like six months back. You don’t even get immediate responses. You are perplexed why every one has decided to close doors on you. You avoided some but you did not really avoid most. So the prized answer finally comes out in someone’s reply - “by the way I don’t come here too often. FB is much better”. When you get a similar answer from three different people, you know where the world is concentrating these days. So you too try to go to FB. But then the realization strikes, not the entire world this time. Be careful. Since you consider yourself quite a techno savvy person, you know account creation is just a few steps. You immediately create an account and click on all the buttons that appear and will create no delay. So your account is ready, but by then accidentally, since default was checked, you ended up announcing your arrival and sending invites to your entire contact list in the mail service you are using. So everyone in the world not only is aware of your arrival, also has a request from you to add them as a friend. They oblige, and you have more than a hundred friends before you remember logging on next time. Good job, lucky you.

By the way FB is complicated.

Ouch!

2009-10-28T08:02:00.001-07:00

So this friend of mine who was travelling out to UK goes to the security check in gate and produces his passport to a nice looking airport staff. Her immediate comment - this picture is old. (Not that it was a problem, but just a comment). This guy is not one of those simple ones who will leave it at "yes" or may be something more humorous like "young days" or something like that decides to take his shot at momentary flirting (how long can you spend at that counter anyway??), wears his best smile and asks - so which me do you prefer? Pat comes the reply - neither.

7000 miles in the air were spent tending the bruised self esteem.

(Man in context: thank me for not sharing your name with all :) - pay the price if you don't :D )

Watkins Glen

2009-10-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

Three people. All breaking into sweat. Out of the long walk, or the panic button!?

A: This looks like some animal crap.

R: Yes it does indeed.

A: And this is not a small animal. It is.. something big.

K: RReally!

R: Oh..!...! What do you think which animal would it be?

A: Oh come on now, I haven’t carried out a research in animal crap. Match the following. Right side animal names and left side images of their crap. All I know is it has to be some big animal!

This was some real conversation taking place when we recently went hiking at Watkins Glen, a State Park in upstate NY. There were two trails available. We just picked the map and realized one trail was substantially longer than the other. What satisfaction would you get in coming back from a place you went visiting specially and not going for the best? At this point best was somehow proportional to longest. After walking for about an hour we realized that we were walking on a trail which had growth on it. Straight away gives an impression it is not walked on in some time. Woods were getting denser, trail narrower, and atmosphere quieter. This is when we came across this big mass of animal and dung and the conversation above took place. In this adventure group of three people, Kusuma was getting nervous but she didn’t want the first one to hint a retreat. I, not particularly scared, but getting uncomfortable with the trail, asked Rachit, what does the map look like? How far are we from the end? We need to walk back also. And I feel we have come very far. It does not even look very interesting from here. What do you say?

Rachit was the tour guide who had carried out the research on the place and came up with this plan of coming here and hiking. He had heard a lot about this and seen some pictures as well. So he knew this place has a treasure of natural beauty that we can not afford to miss, especially after coming 100 miles from home on a Saturday. He had resistance written on his face.

I did not want to disappoint him. He was in a spot. I decided to make it simple. See lets walk for like 5 to 10 more minutes. If this place still does not make any sense to us, we will head back. Both of them agreed. Rachit happily, and Kusuma succumbing to the majority.

As we walked further about for five minutes, we met a fork. And sorry we could not travel both, and be three travelers we stood, and long as far as we could, to where it bent in the undergrowth. There was no chance of taking the road less traveled by as both looked equally fair and not traveled by in the recent past. Decision time again and here I came forward to say this was it. We need to head back. I could see disappointment on Rachit’s face and thus had to tell him that we were really uncomfortable to proceed any further, not enjoying any more, and hence we give him an option. Either he comes back with us or goes further alone. We did not intend to walk further distance any more. As this conversation was taking place, we heard a hoarse sound in the woods. This was some animal. And was not a horse. We froze for a second. The sequence we were walking in right now was Rachit first followed by me and Kusuma behind me. As soon as we heard that sound, Kusuma jumped in and stood between me and Rachit. In such panic situations, I have this strange habit of laughing. I immediately broke into laughter, but was keeping it very controlled because if there was an animal, I did not want to draw its attention. We immediately turned around and started walking fast, almost running. I later deciphered that sound had to be a goose. But that did not deter us. We kept walking back, faster than ever, and were getting breathless. Rachit asked on the way back if we could go on the shorter trail at least now. Ofcourse we can! I did not want to disappoint him any further. It was a beautiful place anyway. Hiking was going good too but for this terror towards the end of the first trail. We were nearing the shorter trail, also called the Gorge trail and we could hear people now. It was a relief to be nearing civilization of sorts. And then we embarked on to the shorter trail. As soon as we started on this trail, we were climbing down steps which took us near the lake. As we descended our expressions from tired and distressed changed to most joyful and excited. What a sight it was!! What a beautiful sight!! We came to a tiny bridge made of rocks with stream underneath. High rocks on both the sides were giving it an effect of hills and these rocks were perfectly decorated with trees all over. There were small waterfalls and small fountains every fifteen twenty steps. The gorge was narrow, weathered and beautiful. The sides looked like the ridges of Grand Canyon. Ofcourse not that grand but still quite a sight .It was absolutely breathtaking. This trail although shorter than the other one was not short at all. We went through the gorge, passed small bridges, small tunnels, one spiral ladder like tunnel trough a cave, rainbow falls, water fountains, different moods water. Soft at some places and thunderous at others. For the most part we kept going down towards the landing of the gorge passing through all these different beautiful points, and then the journey upwards began. We saw stars in daylight while climbing back up. It was not a pleasant journey up because this time it did not meander through the gorge but was a steep walk up. And this wasn’t a short walk. Way up was dreadful. Somehow made it with the last lap being cleared with Jai Mata Di and Jai Bajrang Bali.

Was a fantastic trip! The adventure was from for over actually, but more about it some other time. I do not want to dilute the high of Watkins Glen by sharing the episode that included an adventure of a different kind. Hence more later!

Where was I?

2009-09-04T11:39:00.001-07:00

I was hibernating. I like doing that sometimes. Besides there was a lot going on to keep me away. Well actually there wasn't a lot, it was just one factor that got added to my life and changed it a good deal. No it is still not the special someone, it is a special something. My new car - new for me, otherwise have been around for couple of years. Is an absolute beauty. Two months and 2800 miles old in my life. Yes, I have been driving around like a woman possessed. I am loving every minute.

Lord I'm 500 miles away from home

2009-08-03T21:32:00.000-07:00

If this train is running right

I'll be home by Saturday night

I'm 500 miles away from home

Away from home, away from home, away from home. Away from home I'm 500 miles away from home...!

Ofcourse no one successful deserved success!

2009-05-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

Did you think otherwise?

Some forums can be so enlightening. I was going through one crappy thread in one of the forums on the net where a bunch of Einsteins, who could neither manage one line of decent English nor one decent line of English, were dissecting the senior leadership of my organization. It was surely not in good taste. I don’t read too much in these but still was going through to catch the latest rumors. And here is the learning from the whole discussion. I am sorry for summarizing and not copying the entire thread. It was far more educational and interesting than I have it here.

- Some top guys, who obviously don’t deserve what they have, are ruining the corporate image and carving path for our downslide. And silly me, I was all through thinking the organization that has grown exponentially under the same leaders was able to reach these heights because of the hard work of all and able leadership of the higher ups. But now I know it was pure luck. So they are sure, and hence I am sure that downfall is near.

- And you always know the rule that if a woman is successful, she must have either “compromised” somewhere to get to the top, or someone much senior is trying to pursue her. Don’t tell me you didn’t know this?

- Oh, there is one more – organization wants to showcase some women in the top bracket to prove gender equality, and hence the better ones who are not necessarily good enough for the role get the big roles. So this was also discussed in details. Enlightened me some more.

- Then there were discussions about how the owner of this business has no head of his own. Yeah little did I know that this empire was not built by his brains, but the great minds that were colliding together in this forum.

- But the cherry on the icing was provided by this young man who obviously saw all the dirt and the mud-slinging and decided it was best place to ask this million dollar question – you guys seem to know a lot about this company. I got an offer letter from here, I am wondering if you could tell me if they will finally call me or not and should I join if they do. Look at this concern! I mean please look at his concern. Some buffoons on the internet are throwing insults at the company and the people, and ofcourse this is the best place, and these are the best people to seek your career advice from!

Kudos one, kudos all! I am sure all your billion dollar entities are doing extremely well under your able leaderships. Keep flourishing, good luck! And someday if the better sense prevails - Fut the shuck up!

Standing up against piracy..

2009-05-13T13:05:00.000-07:00

..is not coming easy. But I am trying my best. I am not downloading any music. I am not downloading any movie either. I am buying my books. Compromising in the process, on collectibles and not on integrity. I am buying what I ~~want~~ desperately want. It is expensive. But it is just. And hence I will try my best not to contribute to this so easily doable crime.

I am feeling good :)

All in a day's work..!

2009-04-29T20:05:00.000-07:00

And this is truly hilarious! My cousin after her masters in computer application from a premium institute went on to join a renowned software firm. She was assigned a project and she found there was another fresher, also a girl, in her team. In the initial phase of trying impress people, these two were out there to do anything to outdo the other. As a result they never seemed to agree on the same points. One day they were called for a meeting – this was their first customer call. The manager asked both of them to record the minutes of the meeting. After the meeting both sent out the minutes to the manager. The manager called them and said its good to see you both have finally agreed upon something. Both their mails read – 8 minutes.

An excerpt..!

2009-04-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

.. do you even know what time of the day it is. Why are you calling now?
Just wanted to check everything is ok. Anyway you are awake everyday till some unearthly hours, aren’t you? … were you sleeping? Oh..
Hmm.. I slept about half an hour back.
Ok, its ok if you want to sleep.. and not want to talk..
..not at this hour. Please.. we can talk in the morning.
Yeah.. may not exactly happen. I have a tight day tomorrow.. but its ok.. didn’t mean to disturb you.
No.. No you did not.. disturb me. Ok lets talk.. what do you want to talk about.
Nothing in particu.. hey I am getting another call. Why don’t I call you in five minutes?
But you will call right?
Oh yes I will.. ok.. 5 mins..
*******************************************************************************************************
You didn’t call back.
Hey I know.. I am sorry, got busy.
Hmm
Okay so you are hurt or something.
No, nope.. just thinking.. how you know everything about me, and I know nothing about you. You never meet my expectations.. but I still don’t stop expecting. How I fall flat on my face each time, and how I stand up again, and get ready for the next fall…
.. well! The thumb rule is – don’t expect anything. Did I ask you to? No right! I don’t get a nice feeling when people start expecting things from me.
People? People!
I mean friends included.
Hmm..
Hmm..
Hey you sound serious and all.
No I am not. (Why can’t I say the truth? Have I also become one of those.. People pleasers!)
*******************************************************************************************************
You came, you saw, you conquered.
I just don’t understand how I allowed you to!
You know I have fallen for you. I know you know I have fallen for you. You take all the advantages. And you reciprocate from a safe distance. You are not dishonest, but you don’t tell me everything. And you are candid about it, that you are not comfortable telling me everything. You are not allowing me any insight into you. Yet you play with words when you want me to get weak and successfully have your way through.. what are you upto? And what the hell is wrong with me?

..aur duniya na dikhe

2009-04-23T10:02:00.000-07:00

muskurate gungunate zindagi chalti nahi
ashq ke bhi imtihaan hain, haan kami khalti nahi
sholay hain raahon mein aage chalna zaroori bhi sakhe
band kar lo dono aankhein aur duniya na dikhe

No.ing! Its all about numbers!!

2009-04-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

Another tag from Iya. This was not as easy as it looked. So here is what it is supposed to do - if life could be defined in numbers, i should layout mine. Hmm.. was interesting, but ofcourse i have not done justice to it! Have attempted something nevertheless and here is my list!
0 - Every list starts from here. Now you know what I do for a living! :)
1 is the number of kicks I need to stop procrastinating and get working.
2 minds – dual personality – true Gemini!
3 is the highest number of back to back movies I have done in theatres.
4 is the time of the evening when I absolutely need caffeine.
5 the hour of the morning my alarm is set to and is also the number of times I snooze my alarm. (My snooze time is set to 15 minutes)
6 is the years I have been working, and have been away from home.
7 is the number of the hour. C-Sat is out and it is 7/7. 7 is also the number I in lighter moods identify with – Bond – 007! :)
8 is the number of educational institutions I have studied across.
9 is the number of states in India I have lived in.
10-dulkar is the best!!

And i hereby tag -
Sumi Di - this one is interesting!
Aditya - there is inactivity on your blog for a while!
and everyone else who would like to take this up. Just let me know! :)

Updated - Could not help playing with these numbers!
1 for the 1derland I always (at least once every day) slip in.
2day is what I live for and live in.
3 cheers for the friends I have in life! Its awesome to have you guys around!!
4ked was the path of life when I chose the road less traveled by.. and that made all the difference.
5 days of work followed by 2 days of party. Work hard party harder. New found mantra in life.
6 written thrice, is the devil’s number, and is my birth month too. Is that a coincidence?
7 years of vegetarianism got over when I..
..8 chicken on Saturday.. yes this is true!
B9 and compassionate – what i would want to be remembered as!
Con10t and happy – is what I want to be, always!
:)

Further update - Some more people who are tagged and must complete this really soon -
Vini Bhaiya - welcome back to the world of blogging!
Amit - Kahaan hain aap? Chalo take this up now!
Addy - you have no escape ok!
Kapil - and what else were you thinking? you also HAVE to do it.
Dusty Fog - missing from the circuit yet again. Where art thou?
and last but not the least - Bua - really not sure if you would want to do this but would love to see your list! :)

Broken and shattered..!

2009-04-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

This post is an original piece of work. Any resemblance to any speech (of certain mr amar, akbar or anthony) is purely coincidental.. oh no not even that.. any resemblance is just not possible. And if you still find some, know it its your fault ok!

Friends, Men Women, Countrymen, lend me your ears
I come here to tell you about the woes I underwent in the last couple of hours
The evil that airlines do shatters dreams of some
The good is often just bypassed, surpassed and forgotten
So let it be with me
The trustworthy Jet Blue
Told people there was bad weather in New York
And hence my flight was cancelled from Rochester
If it was so, it was a good enough reason to cancel it
But the flight was supposed to go from Syracuse into New York (when there was bad weather in New York!)
So come I speak at the funeral of a dream
That I cherished for the last two months
For I wanted to see Bryan Adams perform and was so kicked about it too.
I asked the customer care execs about the other options I had
And the best they suggested was to take a flight from Syracuse
Syracuse, which is 100 miles away
Folks the flight was supposed to depart in two hours time
And hence we got into the cab in next 15 minutes and rushed to Syracuse
We were in time for the flight and sat down in the terminal lobby
For the flight announced delay
Famished that we were, picked up a bagel and coffee
And waited for another hour
When they announced further delay
We ran out of topics for conversation too after a while
And between the yawns we heard the announcement
That the flight would take off only after half past seven
Shattered as I was, came out and got the trip cancelled at the counter
The trip that was planned two months in advance
And was dreamt about every day ever since.
So come I speak at the funeral of a dream
That I cherished for the last two months
For I wanted to see Bryan Adams perform and was so kicked about it too.
With no mood to spend a single extra dime on the way back
Which was important to be traversed still
Went to the bus station and took a bus back to Rochester
Nothing to do in the bus and too scared to plug in my iPod
For I could have missed an announcement and eventually my stop
All I did was sit quiet and think about the day gone by
And the preparations that were put in for this show
And the endorsements and advertising too that was part of the package
Of feeling excited and happy and thrilled and what not
But alas! This was perhaps not meant to be
So come I speak at the funeral of a dream
That I cherished for the last two months
For I wanted to see Bryan Adams perform and was so kicked about it too.
Ended has the dream and would understand may be a few
With shattering of this dream, my heart broke too..!

Addy: I hate you! So you are a second term in the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and wizardry! You are good at your job dude.. hunh!

Iya: Ofcourse could not repeat Bangalore 2004.. and now you know why :(

..on arranged marriage!

2009-03-24T16:39:00.001-07:00

...arranged marriage is the intersection point at which the downward spiral of expectation meets the upward spiral of desperation (Read it at Cynic's blog - and thought it was brilliant.)

Thank you for the music!

2009-03-21T19:52:00.000-07:00

The show was supposed to start at 6. People started gathering into Palace grounds, in those miles long queues, by 4 itself. No one could relinquish the chance of a better view, better standing position, as close as possible to the rock star. We could get into the arena at about 5.30. And though we knew there were miles of people behind us, this place looked so packed already. Anyway, we found some place and stood too. The evening started at 6.30 with channel V VJ’s screaming into the mic and the crowd going berserk. Just couldn’t wait for the man to come on the stage and mesmerize us – this time LIVE! But chief guest arrives in the end, isn’t it! So the first performance of this evening was by a then-new Indian band called Aasman, and the only song that sounded familiar (and I didn’t say “nice” mind you) was chandu ke chache ne… They crooned for forty five minutes. And when they finished there was a huge applause, not because they were great, but because they had “finished” their performance to give way to the man himself. But that was not to be. After fifteen minutes of wait, there was another band on the stage, who I didn’t recognize then and don’t remember now – so you can imagine how good they were. They were some overseas all boys band, performed topless and received tremendous booing. Not that they were not ruffled, they were, but they were there to perform and so they did. Took about forty minutes. By the end of their performance, the crowd was agitated, irritated and tired. Think about it, people started flowing in at 4, it was over half past eight, so everyone was standing for more than four hours, had been subjected to some unpleasant music for the last two hours, and the man was not to be seen still. There was inactivity on the stage again for some twenty minutes. The irritability was increasing.. big time. Each and every soul present there was getting vocal about it. We so hated him for not showing up till then and it was already 9. And then suddenly mic came to life, stage still didn’t, and we heard a very familiar, a very heavenly – here I am – this is me – I came into this world – so wild and free. Lights came on – and there he was. Bryan Adams! Oh there he was, in flesh and blood. Whoa! What a moment that was, every mouth in that ground roared at the top of its voice to cheer for that man. It was deafening, and most scintillating. No leg was feeling tired any more, no heart was complaining, finally the wait seemed worth. He set the stage on fire, went on to perform all his famous numbers, and we all sang along. Still envy the girl he randomly picked from the audience to sing with him. The crowd moved with him, we sang and swayed and he performed and performed. We swooned as he sang, we swooned as he moved, we swooned to the tunes of his guitar. And these were the fastest two hours of the day (month? Year?). Just didn’t realize how time passed when he sang. So soon it was 11 and the show was over. We could have been there and stood for days if he could perform that long. The rats were not allowed to go any close to the Pied Piper as he threw hugs, kisses, thanks in the air and left. What a night that was, what a night!
Ladies and Gentlemen, this was Bangalore, in 2004. And since then I have been longing to catch a glimpse once again. Bryan Adams is performing in New York in April, and I AM GOING! It is a Friday, I have applied for leave, and I am going to be there, to see him perform again! Can’t wait, New York City, I am coming! :)

Sandese aate hain..!

2009-03-17T19:22:00.000-07:00

I insisted some of my friends from my pervious team on sending me letters. Hand written letters. I was sure that the idea would be shooed away upfront and I will meet the same old – oh come on, you meant really or what! But I was proved wrong. And this was one of those times when you love to be proved wrong. I didn’t get just one two, I received six letters. Six handwritten letters! And not just one page letters, 1 one page, 3 two pages, 1 four pages, 1 five pages. Just opening the envelope was such a wow moment! :)
Thanks to:
Shiks - one cool cat! Thanks for taking me down the memory lane and getting me nostalgic! miss those days! and you deserve a special thanks for convincing others and distributing A4 sheets too! :)
Sowji - for overlooking my lack of effort in staying connected and still writing to me, you are super cool!
Vini - for making me laugh till I cried. I pardon you for your most horrible handwriting too :) you rock buddy!
Surabhi - for not only writing a wonderful letter, but writing it in hindi! Kudos, and thanks a ton! Was such an enjoyable experience!
Dhinesh - for writing my testimonial almost. Why don’t you actually forward the same text as my orkut testimonial! The only slight problem is you wont know the text as there is no Sent Items for handwritten letters :D
Rahul - for letting me know that what the..! there are better ways to keep connected! This isn’t the coolest. But still writing :) (But believe me Rahul, this is the coolest! :) )

Tagged

2009-03-07T21:50:00.000-08:00

Tagged by Iya this time. This is my second tag and this tag too makes me write about myself. Iya you need to pay me for this one. This was long.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope. Though it was picked from a book that my mom and bua were reading before I was born and they liked the name, but it wasn’t that I was named after the character.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
26^th January. Incidentally had gone to temple, and there I for no rhyme and reason felt so overwhelmed that I choked.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I do! One of the very few things I like about myself.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
No meat for me at all. I am a vegetarian by choice.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Thankfully no. I don’t have a license yet.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Guess so.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
I do sometimes. Mmm.. a lot of times actually!

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
(?) Yes. Thanks for your concern by the way.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Yo man! Yes I will. I will sky dive too.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL
Kelloggs Fruit and Yogurt. That’s my idea of cereal these days.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Ya I do. And loosen them.

12. IF YOU WERE TO PICK YOU OWN FIRST NAME, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Bompy

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
You mean I have to choose one. That is unfair. Ok so my current favorite is chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Their voice. Can be the biggest turn on, and can be a super turn off too.

15. RED OR PINK?

Red

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Should be my discipline or the lack of it.

17. WHOM DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My parents :(

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
Noooo.. this tag is not spicy. I would want to ask more interesting questions may be.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Black trousers, black shoes.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Khabar nahi – from dostana

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Orange

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Natural - Has to be the smell of rain washing the land. Artificial – Cool waters still tops the chart.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My friend Kapil.

25. HOW DO YOU KNOW THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
She is my best friend, has been so since times immemorial..

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Cricket

27. HAIR COLOR?
Black.. turning grey now.

28. EYE COLOR?
Dark brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
What boss! You want me to prepare a list or what. Ok the perennial 24x7 favorite is Rajma Chawal.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
He is just not that into you

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Pink

34. SUMMER OR WINTER
Winter

35. HUGS OR KISSES
Hugs

36. DESCRIBE YOUR PENCIL CUP
I don’t have one :( No one gave me one :( :(

38. FAVORITE ARTIST(s)?
Stranger in the mirror :)

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Confessions of a Shopaholic.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I don’t have a mouse pad :(

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Didn’t watch TV last night. Don’t watch TV at all.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
Pitter patter pitter patter..

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
My current abode – lord I am 500(,000) miles away from home :(

Away from home, away from home,

Away from home, away from home

Lord I am five hundred miles (much more than that) miles away from home..

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
There are many real special ones.. but the one that tops my list is – I can sing songs with words reversed without changing the pace or the tempo of the song. For example – tujhe dekha to yeh jaana sanam – would be – jhetu khade to hey naja manas.

And who says it is not a talent!?

46. WHERE WERE U BORN?
Ranchi

47. FAVORITE PIECE OF JEWELRY?
I am not fond of jewelry.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
And why this assumption that I would have met my spouse or significant other? The quest is still on. Neighboring monarchies are being scanned for one knight in the shining armor.

49. FAVORITE SONG?
One favorite? What a crazy question! Ok the latest favorite is Jai Ho! Oh I am in love with the song. Rehman, Gulzar saab.. had to be brilliant.

50.Favorite Musical?
Sound of Music

I hereby tag Rajita - who has never done a tag before - Kapil - who has announced he is deserting his blog - Vineha - who without any announcement has abandoned hers - Addy - need to see how he answers these.

The LOOSE phenomenon

2009-02-11T20:14:00.001-08:00

At the risk of drawing attention to all my spelling and grammatical mistakes (jinke ghar sheeshe ke hote hain waala attitude you know) I HAVE to write about this - Why is it that almost everybody seems to be going wrong with the spelling of LOSE? You LOSE someone, you don't LOOSE someone.

Example:

When I am with you I LOSE my mind.

He has LOOSE motions today.

Look for this word on different blogs and you will know this indeed is a casually spelt word and lot of people tend to go wrong with this.

I know not what I do..

2009-02-03T15:22:00.000-08:00

I was told to be good. This was a generic statement. For some things I asked what was good and what wasn’t, for others I decided to trust my judgment. Slowly I started giving importance to my value system and focused on being right – at gain or at loss – Right! This was important to me. I decided to choose people I wanted to be with. Not that I wanted to be with the most perfect human beings (gets boring doesn’t it) but I stuck (as much as I could) to my principles. And looking back there are a few instances of my life where I stuck to my principles during adversities, where perhaps many would have compromised on integrity, I didn’t, and I am proud of all those incidents. But was everything I think I did correct seen as correct by others? By my closest of friends? Not always. It bothered me some times, but I knew I am nice and I didn’t do any wrong. Gave me a good night’s sleep. And that’s all that mattered.

You too were asked to be nice. You too chose between right and wrong by your own judgment. You too built a value system for yourself that you will never compromise on because those are the core principles of your life you are governed by. You also won some and lost some, but you never compromised on what you thought was grey.

We crossed paths and we liked each other. Though both of us knew we were different in many things, we chose each other. I always dreamed of a partner who looked in the same direction as mine and understood my perspective. Somewhere down the way we found that there are clashes in our value systems. It disturbed me. And one disturbance lead to another. If you were the highest priority in my life, why was I not the highest in yours? I knew you loved me, but why was I not the number one. You never said I wasn’t but I never felt I was.

I lost you. And this time it does not feel right about losing though I am well within the boundaries of my core values. You are well within yours too. And fact remains we both were in love. One of us still is. I don’t know about you. After you left, I spoke to myself, at length, for days. What went wrong? It is difficult for me to say I was wrong I don’t think I was. But I stand sure today that you weren’t. I feel that things were never meant to work out. No fault of ours. No scarcity of love either. Destiny? Perhaps.

You will remain as adorable as you ever were.

A genius said (guess it was Shekhar Kapoor) -
I lost you not because you were you
I lost you because I was I.

Doesn’t apply completely, but makes a lot of sense to me today…

Color

2009-02-01T06:43:00.000-08:00

I was having a lunch table conversation with a colleague of mine. This guy happens to be an afro-american. And somehow the conversation drifted to racism. Is there equality in the country now? Will things look up after Barak Obama’s moving into office? And here is what he had to say about this – the differences still prevail and the divide is still as big as ever. It is just that in professional environment people have no choice but to do business and hence you may not feel it but some of their judgments or there comments when they think you can not hear are brutal. And you can not blame them every time. It has a lot to do with the image we have created for ourselves. In the movies, television, everywhere, we are the bad people, and the truth most of the times is some of us really are. I am saying I am one of them only because of the geography we come from but nothing more. We are supposed to be impulsive and loud. You will see women clutching there wallets tighter on spotting an afro-american in the vicinity. In the parking lot when I get out of my car I have seen women in the next car sometimes being quick to lock their doors. It feels insulting but I understand their reasons. There is poverty in this group. It may not be as bad as homeless children on the road, but still the poverty is high. And poverty leads to crime. It lessens your personal values and sometimes degrades your thoughts because you perhaps tend to think nothing can go worse. I am one of those who go out of their way to make an extra effort to prove I am nice, thinking I might turn a stone. I might help change the general perception. I might help afro-american’s getting treated equally. In a competition when there are so many other things to concentrate on, this only adds to pressure because I know this is a negative which will go against me. And now I am concerned about my daughters. Because I have one negative, and so have you. And my daughters have two negatives. They aren’t white and they are girls. I try to teach them good values each day. My elder is in fifth grade and she has started understanding a couple of things that includes the importance of academics and why it is more important for her to come first than others in the same class. But my younger one is just five. And this morning was the first time she noticed something. There was a function in her school and dads were invited too. When we got off the car we saw a mad rush of people. The entire school was out in the ground with their dads. And that’s when my little one suddenly stopped walking and said, “dad wait a minute! Why is it that all these people have white faces, (pause) and some of them have like beige faces (perhaps tanned ones) and only we have brown faces.” I was thrown off guard. I knew this would come someday but had not anticipated it to be this early. There was no time to explain because we were already in the school. So I told her that sweetie I will tell you all about it when I come home in the evening, but you need to promise me you will not put this to anyone else before we talk. We will talk in the evening, is that ok? Ok she said and believe me this is going to be one history lesson today at home. I don’t know how far to go today as we will be discussing this for the first time, but guess its time now to know we are lesser mortals.

I was sitting speechless with locked jaws. I have been thinking about it and it sounds so unfair. Hopefully Obama being in office would make a difference.
Reminds me of a poem I read a couple of years back:

When I born, I black.

When I grow up, I black.

When I go in sun, I black.

When I cold, I black.

When I scared, I black.

When I sick, I black.

And when I die, I still black.

You white folks...When you born, you pink.

When you grow up, you white.

When you go in sun, you red.

When you cold, you blue.

When you scared, you yellow.

When you sick, you green.

When you bruised, you purple.

And when you die, you gray.

So who you callin' colored?!

:(

2009-01-26T09:56:00.000-08:00

ban ke lahoo nas nas mein coffee daude aur pukaare

kaam mein sab kuchh haar chuke ab himmat kaise haare

pray karo duniya US economy aur doobe na..!

some bakwaas!

2009-01-21T21:38:00.000-08:00

So what else is new in your life?
Nothing really.

Nothing? What about the guy who you went out for dinner with?
What! What!! Doesn’t news travel fast? Now who is gossiping about me?

Peals of laughter in the room.

Hey I am still curious, who is doing me this big favor by circulating this news around and tarnishing my image. It was not as it sounds like. We just went out to eat together with emphasis on “eat” and not on “together”. He is married forgodsake!

So what! Do you think people care these days about such factors?

I care! And I know lot of people… no.. most people do care about these factors. And care or no care, this was not a “date” or something like what it has been made to sound like.

Ok if you say so? But how did this happen? I mean he called just you, he could have called us too right!
Hey relax guys! What “happen”ed. His company pays for his food. He is allowed to take a business co-worker out for food and he is new at this place. He asked me for some good places, I suggested, he asked directions, I gave him the directions, he asked if I could join him, and I declined. No thoughts, I had too much work that day. He offered the next day, and I agreed. He was looking for company, and I also could do with one.

Oh since when are you his “business” co-worker?
Come on guys! We share the same work place, his office is next to mine. He asks me a thousand questions about whats and wheres of the office building. I can’t believe I am answering these questions.

Ok relax! We were just pulling your leg.
I know but just three people knew I was going out for dinner. Now many more know and all are pulling my leg. My leg will come out of the socket.

Some more laughter. Ok lets talk about something else. So what are the plans for Christmas everyone?
Good question! Nothing so far. Let us plan some real fun!
I am going to see some friends in NYC and around. Please lets plan for some other time. I don’t want to miss out on fun. You guys just do..
.. meet some friends? Does he stay in NYC?
Oh please! Just shut up!
Hey I am sorry! Could not resist but go there again just this last time.

Hunh! Hey plan something for new years, what do you all say!
Yeah, lets plan out something. Apparently there is some party at one of the restaurants here. Should be fun…or.. hmm.. or may be not!
Why?
I am not sure but I think only couple entry allowed.
Oh, then lets go somewhere else.
.. try calling him, he may just agree!
Roars of laughter.
I swing the door open, and thwaaarrrrt close it behind me. I hear a pin drop silence behind in the room. And then giggle and finally another loud uproar.
I hate them all!

The exciting climax!

2009-01-09T19:53:00.000-08:00

Ok so I am working at the client location. It has its own advantages and disadvantages and it is an endless debate that which one outweighs the other. I choose not to take a stand, not because I am diplomatic, but because I really don’t know. All I know is I learned how to “work hard and party harder” here. Some people like me sometimes when get into this mode, they forget that along with work hard and party harder, there is one more thing that is absolutely essential, and that is "sleeping". Of late there was a lot to do at work and then there was Christmas holiday that was packed-planned from start till the end, and that also didn’t feature “rest” as an action item. So in this action packed schedule, after slogging like a dog, and then holidaying quite well too, there was a need to take a break. And the day I felt the need to do so, as I was planning to take it easy at work, we uncovered that due to some trouble in one of the financial applications, a monster of an error was spotted. Who caused that error? Well..no not exactly me.. but I was part of the elite fraternity. And because of this problem, the system was heading to pay out double salary to 1400 employees.

It was 29th of December when we spotted this sweet little indecent problem. But that day I kept trying to prove it to myself and to everyone else that it was not a problem and that nothing will go wrong. I did that successfully too. But on 30th morning, I saw it written in big and bold, 1400 extra payouts were on their way in just over 24 hours time. And let me also tell you, 31st December happens to be the closing of financial year as well in this country. So basically if you have still not understood, it was an awfully colossal piece of crap I found myself into. This was not all. We charge money to keep the application clean and safe, so it was not the fault of the organization that would have made this huge payment (roughly just over a million dollars.. and I am not kidding and for a change I am not exaggerating either). Ok so as I mentioned I was a part of this fraternity who created this mess. Out of these people, one was a non-technical person, so there was no way he could contribute to fixing this mess. Half of the remaining fraternity confessed to have overwritten all the files that could have saved some grace. And also, this half holds no direct responsibility towards the application and hence while contributed almost 50% towards creation of the mess, would not have faced the music even half as much as the other half that was left. Ok so time for some disclosure. This fraternity comprised of three people – one non-technical genius, one free genius soul who could murder and say sorry, and the last not-so-genius-and-in-terribly-sorry-state. You guessed it right. That was me! I started wheezing the moment I heard that things were so wrong and it was just “me” all eyes were set to. This looked like an impossible mission and I felt like a helpless kid in the wild woods. I so badly wanted to go back home that very moment, and get house arrested for months. I was missing my parents. Well at this moment I was missing my family, extended family, friends, neighbors, everybody. I could be kept here for years without salary and still I would not have coughed up that kind of money. My fingers started behaving like my brain – JAMMED! My respiration was forming different patterns and all could be heard till the next room. Freaky it was! This anxiety lasted a couple of minutes. And then was time for the next step. I started preparing myself for the mission. I tried to calm myself, picked up the phone to speak to the application owner, to inform that I would be seizing the application for the rest of the day (note the time of this conversation please – it was 11.30 in the morning on the 30th December). He was made aware of the plausible hazard too. But his answer shook my lungs, liver, kidney, churned my stomach – “oh no this can not be true. Please ensure this does not happen. And hope you also understand that it is the end of the financial year, so it is a busy time. People can’t be asked to stay away from the application at this point. I might be able to give it to you a little early though, say at about 5 in the evening.” He sounded cool as cucumber. 5 – Early in the evening? “Please ensure this does not happen” – my head was spinning. I was not supposed to get on this work till 5 and I was not in the state to concentrate on anything else. I was thinking in all directions and that’s when I recollected a lesson imparted to me by my previous technical manager – if you create a mess and you are the only person who can correct it, no matter how bad it is, just remember that you are the ONLY one in the world who can correct this. So know your value. Don’t panic, calm yourself, and straighten it up! I suddenly felt better upon being hit by the thought that I was the ONLY person in the world who could fix this. So what was I waiting for! I started to work on the strategy to deal with the problem. After the application was given to me at 5, there was a close to an hour activity that the free genius soul needed to carry out. And then I could do whatever I could do till 6 in the morning. I went to meet the free genius soul after formulating what looked like a plan. Free genius soul, actually a nice guy, agreed to carry out the activity I wanted him to. The only problem was he had an important appointment till 7 and he could get on the system only after that. Some days are like that! So we decided that he gets the system till 8, there would be a buffer of half an hour with him, and at 8.30 I will start the remediation. I was about to leave when he said - "hey Anu! all the best! don't worry you will be fine! You have blessings of 1400 people". We burst out laughing. I could not believe we were laughing. But it actually relaxed me a little. :)

I reached home at about 5.30. Changed in three minutes, ate, and went to sleep with the alarm set for 8.20. I got up at 8.20, checked my mail. Yes, he had done his work. And then I started. The grand strategy that finally came out of my analysis earlier in the day had suggested that I would need to update these 1400 records manually in two different places. I was prepared for it. Ok there was no genius required any more. It was donkey work, endless donkey work. I could feel migraine building up by the time it was 11. I was feeling exhausted, but my work was far from done. Well I was done at about 3 in the morning. Did a round of testing on the system, sent out a mail and then slept off.

Pay went out, there was no big problem reported. Alright there were a small few, there were some people who did not get salary, but there was no account that got extra salary. There can still be news out even tomorrow about something not working, but is surely not as bad as it could have been. Phew! Wonderful experience, once in a lifetime experience. And for all I care, I am done with one for my lifetime now. I don’t want anything even half as close any more. As a result of this activity, my body decided not to cope with me and kind of gave up completely for not one not two but five days. I slept like 17 hours a day on the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd of Jan. 4th Jan was loose and swayed. This all begun on the 31st evening itself. And now you know how exciting the climax of the last year was for me and how i I brought in my new year. :)

Reminding Ria that she remembers everything

2009-01-05T00:30:00.000-08:00

This post is dedicated to Ria, who is perhaps occupied, perhaps just procrastinating, but surely is not indifferent, as i know she still cares, as she did once upon a time, just doesnt express it that often, or may be doesnt express it at all any more! But she cares.. she does.. i know she does!

Ria remembers everything
Is just a little caught in the game of life
Like each one of us
But she does remember everything
She remembers the daily doses of giggle, chuckle, laugh-laugh
And the bickering and the gossips
The quizzes and the vivas
And the results days too
She remembers the daily tea cups
With each cup facing a different direction
And the free lunches at the favorite hang out
Which came with a chocolate day after day each day
The terrace between the two speed breakers
And the no show from there
Still the disappointment backed by some hope
Of someday seeing a view better than the sunset
That she did catch at times from there
She remembers the woofs and the oinks
And there pictorial representations too
She remembers the green horse that galloped
In every street she knew
She remembers listening to lobo and bryan adams
She remembers “do hemm” and “do pro”
And she can clearly recall the honk of 0844
She remembers the coiled staircase
And the red phone planted in between
The pizza and the coffee
The rainy day that threw her under fits of laughter
Upon hearing – “sab kudrat ki den hai”
Ria remembers a lot more
Is just a little caught in the game of life
Like each one of us
But she does remember everything...

For most of you my people, this will not make sense, but this is meant to make sense to Ria alone, who is a little forgetful, and a little busy, but still as loving as she was..!

Look whoz here!

2008-12-31T11:24:00.001-08:00

Its O Nine!

Another year, time again to move out the list of things you could not do last year and bring in the list of things you can not do this year.. in short time for new year resolutions :)

This year i think i am going to go the calvin way! :)

Thanksgiving special!

2008-12-18T06:58:00.000-08:00

Had heard about Thanksgiving but never knew it was so big out here. People were planning for thanksgiving holidays for couple of months and shopping was the most integral part of the plan. The very idea of thanksgiving impressed me completely. Forget about the history (no I am not saying that’s not important) and look at today. America gets a federal holiday on this day to be with their families and ponder over the good things in life, count their blessings and thank God, people, pets, who made all the good things happen. Nice, isn’t it!

Ok, so thanksgiving is nice, and it is fun too. The fun part is the Black Friday shopping. Black Friday is the day after thanksgiving when almost all the big stores across the country open their gates at as early as 3 in the morning. Are you thinking who shops at that hour? Answer is EVERYBODY! There are people who queue up in front of the store from the evening before. All for the best deals that are available for the early birds. So if you want to see some real gate crashing, this is the time to go shopping.

Rochester, NY, the place I am living right now, is a cold place. Temperature has been negative for the last 40 days. There is a sheet of snow, I saw a snow storm recently, and all the locals come back to me and say – oh you have seen nothing yet! Not yet! Don’t worry you will see it soon! Not particularly encouraging I must say. Anyway, so this was the weather condition on the thanksgiving weekend also. So in office, in the middle of a project meeting, all of us were discussing who will go out for Black Friday shopping. People were sure that I will surely go. People who come here for a short while usually would not refrain from buying all the goodies that would be available at throw away prices. And I opened my mouth to let them know I had no such plans. I was not sure that I wanted to step out of my house at that hour of the morning / night / whateva in this kind of weather to buy anything. I had nothing at all on my agenda except for an external hard disk for my brother and a camera for my cousin. I was certain I wanted to buy those on Black Friday but may be at 10 or 11 in the morning. The sale goes on for the entire day. And anyway, there are only like 10 coupons for the early birds and I had no intention of standing all night in the snow to save money on something that wasn’t even mine. And then my Manager (from business) spoke up, “Hey I will tell you guys a small story about this Black Friday(BF) shopping. About ten years back my mom insisted on going for this BF shopping because she wanted to buy this stereo for my dad. It was a neat piece but was a little expensive. We checked the deals on the internet and it looked like they were running good discounts on them. So we decided to go to Best Buy the next morning. These guys were supposed to open at 5. So at 5 I reached there with my Mom, those people were opening the gates. I dropped my Mom at the entrance and went further to park my car. Parking too is a problem as there is an absolute ocean of people and sea of cars. After ten minutes I enter the store and make my way to the stereo section after being nudged and protecting myself from being run over, and what do I see there. There was just one piece of that stereo left there which my mom was pulling from end and another woman was pulling from the other. No one was decent enough to let it go. So the battle was on. And my mom finally won that battle when she pushed with such might that there was a roar out of her mouth. I could not believe my eyes. I couldn’t believe my mom was really doing that. Anyway, we came back home and I slept back, after pledging to never go there again on a BF”. Some of us were in splits but the majority in the room nodded as if to say – yes this happens! And that is when I decided that I am going to go for it. Who would want to miss this circus when this is perhaps the only opportunity when I can see it. I was certain about it now.
Kapil came over for thanksgiving. Not that we were planning to celebrate thanksgiving as thanksgiving, but we just wanted to hang out over the four days weekend. How often do you get that? We chatted till late night, it was certainly much past midnight. I slept close to 2 and I could hear activity in my room at as early as 2.30. My roomie was getting ready to go shopping. I thought about it for a second, my hand was outside the comforter and I could feel the chill outside, I snuggled and slept of. After all this looked like the best thing I would rather do any day. In about an hour and forty five minutes, my phone rang. It was my manager. We all had planned to go out shopping the previous evening so he was checking which store I wanted to go to and he would have guided me which car I needed to get into. We colleagues had decided to go in three cars in three different directions and stay connected on the phone to let others know about any interesting deal available. Anyway, I picked the call and mumbled a hello. And looked like he was awake from three nights in the excitement of shopping on thanksgiving. He said a cheerful good morning and got a lifeless good morning in response.
Hey Anu, you are still sleeping!! You don’t want to come along?
Me..mm..i was thinking about it actually last evening (what a liar I am!) and I don’t think I want to buy anything, then whats the point going?
Arre, till yesterday you were sure you wanted to see the mad rush and that’s all you wanted to be there for. Are you sure you want to miss this annual event?
I pondered for a second and I said ok let me check with Kapil if he wants to come along.
I called Kapil’s cell, he did not pick. I called again no response, again no response. He was in the next room, I could hear the cell ringing so loudly, but he was just not responding. I stepped out of my room and shouted Kaaappppiiiillll!
Hmmm..
My friends are asking if we want to go for thanksgiving sale?
mmm.. you go, I want to sleep.
Are you sure?
Ok.. wait I will also come along.
And sleepy heads were on the way to Walmart.
By the time we reached Walmart, we were so wide awake, because it looked like it was a big festival in town (it was!).
As we were making our way into the store, we realized there were just two carts left, and there was a swarm of people flowing in. So we almost ran and grabbed the carts. There was triumph written on our face as we glided the two carts inside. Two carts. As if we were there to shop for comforters and mattresses. Everyone was eyeing at electronics, and so were we. What possibly would have required two carts is beyond anyone’s comprehension. Anyway as we entered we noticed that Walmart was packed with people. Choc-a-block inside all the aisles, and the numerous queues at the counter, everywhere. It was difficult to walk inside. And soon there was a big crowd behind us also. And soon I understood that the other two either elbowed some out, or got elbowed out as they were not to be seen. I wanted to look for them, but was finding it difficult to move. And then I had a cart with me. I realized it was a mistake to pounce on the cart. So I decided to call them. I tried calling Kapil. Beep beep.. (no ring).. beep..beep..no ring still.. beep..silent! Network jam apparently. Suddenly I saw Kapil coming from somewhere. He had something in his hand. “hey where were you? Whats in your hand?”.
Pen-drive, 4gb, for 9$. He said and threw it in the cart. And he disappeared again.

I wanted to throw this cart that was causing such immobility. But it is against the etiquette to just leave it somewhere and go. So I dragged it and inched myself to the electronic section. I was met with an unimaginable rush there. And an enormous queue too to get inside those aisles. I waited there for a couple of minutes, and lost patience finally. I headed towards the household appliances section thinking about some good deal on kitchen appliances, or vacuum cleaner. But I was met with the same fate there also. It took me fifteen minutes to reach there, and another ten to come out of the place, without getting to even see anything. So here I was standing in the middle of mayhem with a huge and unwanted shopping cart, which had two pen-drives in it. Those two pen-drives in the cart looked really odd because the cart was big enough to hold 1200 of those. I had no idea where to go and what to pick. And then I looked towards the grocery section. On any other day the grocery section is the most crowded area in Walmart, but on this day it was completely deserted. Out of those n thousand people there, not even person was seen on this side. So I knew where to go! I went to that section, picked up a packet of bread and a can of milk. No there was no deal running on these! Had to make the most of this outing. Didn’t get anything better. And then I went and joined the queue. Kapil added a couple of towels to the cart while I was yawning my way to the counter. My manager Joy’s cart looked better than ours, much more fuller, but when he reached the counter, and started seeing the prices of items he picked solely on x% discount factor, he slowly started removing items from the billing desk. And then he was also left with some thirty dollars worth items. And this was our Walmart shopping on the Thanksgiving day. So much for getting up early on a holiday when temperature has dipped below zero and you went two bed just two hours before.

By the way, we halted at Staples to check out a deal on passport drives (external hard disks). It was heartening to see the deal was still on and there were some pieces left of those. So finally getting up early paid off. All three of us bought 320gb passport drives for a meagre 99$. And we were ecstatic, we struck gold! yeyyyy! Now it is another thing that now after almost a month of thanksgiving, when there is no sale running on electronics, the same piece is available for 79$. hmph!

Tumul once again..!

2008-11-23T16:10:00.000-08:00

A wonderful piece of work by Sri Jai Shankar Prasad, I have appreciated tumul kolahal over years, specially the line ‘tumul kolahal kalah mein, main hriday ki baat re mann”. His poem was about God talking to Manu, the first man on earth according to Hindu belief, and giving him courage to fight against all adversities. ‘Tumul kolahal..’ means in the middle of extreme chaos too, I am the one who rules your heart.

Now this piece here has nothing to do with Sri Jai Shankar Prasad’s work. That was brilliant. Here I have put some random thoughts together and have shamelessly picked the line from his poem that I admire so much.

जो दूर गर निकला कहीं सांझ ढले यहीं आएगा
चलते चलते जो थक जाए या भटक कहीं जो जाएगा
साथ दिलाती राह बताती मैं सांध्य मैं ही रात रे मन
तुमुल कोलाहल कलह में मैं ह्रदय की बात रे मन

जिसे ढूंढ रही तू वोह मिल गया तो गाऊँगा तेरे संग मैं भी
मार खुशी तू दौड़ेगी इठलाऊँगा तेरे संग मैं भी
झूमती गाती खूब नाचती मैं रंगों की बारात रे मन
तुमुल कोलाहल कलह में मैं ह्रदय की बात रे मन

मन आज कुछ ठीक नही खुश आँखें आज उदास हैं
कोई पास तेरे हो नो हो, भगवान तो तेरे पास हैं
शक्ति दिलाता मुस्कान लौटाता, मन का मैं विश्वास रे मन
तुमुल कोलाहल कलह में मैं ह्रदय की बात रे मन

जाते जाते मुड़ के देखो पाओगी तरुवर सा खड़ा यहीं
जितना तुझसे मैंने किया उतना प्रेम किसी ने किया नही
हाथ बढ़ा दो हाँ कह दो, अपनाओ यह साथ रे मन
तुमुल कोलाहल कलह में मैं ह्रदय की बात रे मन

Comments!

2008-11-19T17:59:00.000-08:00

There always are some people in a movie theatre who are spontaneous, funny and do not mind expressing themselves aloud. While some of them who belong to this category can be ignored, some of them really make for good laugh there and beyond too when you look back at times. The comments that they pass sometimes just stay with you. Here are some comments that I overheard or collected from others over a period of time:

Chak De: Shahrukh Khan is not happy with Sagarika Ghatge (Preeti Sabharwal), for playing a selfish game. There is a scene towards the end where he calls her and starts shouting at her, and in the theatre there is a plead from behind somewhere – “Please Shahrukh, please Preeti ko kucch nahi bolna..” The whole place was in splits. More than the comment there was that plead in his voice that was so genuine. :)

Lagaan: In the beginning of the movie, Aamir Khan is somewhere out in the farms, and Gracy Singh comes to call him. She is standing at a distance and from there she calls out – Bhuvaaaaan. Immediate reply from some smart guy – ‘aaya darling’. Lot of hahahaha followed this too. :)

Yaadein: Now if you know anything about this movie, you would know how miserable a watch this is. The whole theatre is gloomy and losing patience slowly. There is not a single interested face around. And there comes a scene where Kareena Kapoor (who by the way is extremely irritating in this movie) and Hrithik Roshan (who by the way believe it or not is way more irritating than Kareena) are standing in front of a nice looking building which has a huge concrete eagle on top. Public is bored to death and Hrithik at this point (or was it Kareena..anyway..) goes ‘I love you’ on top of his voice and in the most hopeless style. And there croons a voice from crowd – “dheere bol-a-, udd jayee”. A bihari way of saying – speak softly otherwise it will fly away. There was a little pause followed by roaring laughter from all corners in the hall. This was the only high point of the movie for the entire population sitting inside. :)

Shaan: A 70s movie starring Amitabh Bachchan, Shashi Kapoor and many other famous names. But the person who became immortal with this movie was Kulbhushan Kharbanda, in the role of famous Shakaal. Apart from the good job he did with his character, his look was also quite distinct and very befitting. He was given a bald look with a shining face. In one scene Shakaal is moving his hand on this bald crown and says – “… main kuchh bhi kar sakta hoon..”. Some one from the audience answers back “arre kanghi nahi kar sakta hai” (can not comb) :)

Hanuman: This was not exactly a comment, but overheard from the next seat. A young lady who was sitting next to my brother’s seat got a call mid way through the movie. Some one must have asked what she was doing and her answer was "Main hanuman ji dekh rahi hoon”. ‘Hanuman Ji’ dekh rahi hoon!!! Was funny but extremely sweet. We had a good laugh. :)

Kal ho na ho: Last scene. Shahrukh Khan is dying. Preity Zinta and Saif Ali Khan go to meet him. Preity Zinta sits next to Shahrukh Khan and goes little close to his face. Someone in the public, in a loud but emotional voice – Aman main tumhare bachche ki maa banne waali hoon! :) Now we all too laughed at this one, but because of this gang in the theatre, I hated the movie the first time I saw it. The entire emotion of the movie was diluted because of some funny and some not so funny comments that kept coming in consistently.
Some of these may not sound very funny just hearing them or reading them, but were so perfectly timed that it made them truly hilarious.

Talking about funny comments, I am reminded of two funny ones, not from movie halls though, that I heard from some friends.
A young lady instructor to an MCA student who is particularly noisy in the computer lab – I am watching you for the last two hours, you just can’t sit quiet and concentrate.
Student replies back, with a wide grin – Madam, you are watching ‘me’ for the past two hours! :)

There is a very famous chain of a shoe brand in the central-eastern and eastern states of India, called Shree Leathers. One young man entered one of the outlets in Jamshedpur with some of his friends. He looked around and then went to the counter. There was a photograph of someone on the wall behind the counter and it was garlanded. Our man looked at the photograph and did a very respectful pranaam to it. Store keepers at the counter looked pleasantly surprised with this gesture and were looking at him. Our man with utmost respect in eyes and most polite expression went – Shree Leather jee yahi hain kya?
The expression on the store keepers faces changed instantaneously. His friends refused to know him and rush themselves out of the place. He coolly walked out without much ado. Perhaps others were too stunned to say anything. :)

Strangers.. but connected..

2008-11-01T14:59:00.000-07:00

In my previous outing outside the country, the phenomenon that I found particularly strange was Indians on the road just avoiding eye contact with you, as if the moment they made eye contact I will ask them to take me home and give me some food, or lend me some pounds. Not a one off case this one, this was what happened most of the time. So after a while it started looking like normal, though I still refused to be one of them.
Now this time around, I didn’t expect anything better. And honestly I was not even preparing to give it any more thought, as now I know this is how it works perhaps everywhere outside the country. But I was in for a surprise, and a very pleasant one. Well in general the experience has been good so far, but there are two incidents that are particularly worth a mention.

Incident I:
Thanks to my colleagues and their wives here, I did not have to bother about what to buy and where to buy from for most of the basic things. They were there to help me with my shifting, travel, initial settling down, food too on some occasions, fixing me an apartment, helping me open a bank account, SSN, everything that was important. But after the primary basic requirements were over, it was time for the secondary basic requirements for household like lamps, curtain, cleansers, containers, etc. So I with two more colleagues, equally new to the place, decided to venture out on our own to Walmart. And we found out the nearest bus stop and the bus timings too, to go there. It was quite simple actually as bus stop was very close by. So we got in to the bus and reached Walmart. Everyone who has been to Walmart would know if you are there without a list, that place can hold you for hours together and you will not be done still. We were no exception. We kind of wandered all possible alleys and aisles in the store and by the time we were done, the shopping cart was on the verge of puking things out. A look at the watch and we also realized that the last bus back home would be at the stop in less than five minutes, and we had this entire cart to check out. We were prepared to take a taxi ride back, so we started taking easy. We paid up and then decided to recharge our batteries at the Subway store inside Walmart.
At the Subway counter we were greeted by a guy who had Indian looks but very heavy accent. There were few more there but he decided to assist us. From his badge it was evident that he was the store manager, and he had enough work force to handle the orders, but he came himself. And then while I was telling him all the ingredients for my sub, he pushed a question – where are you all from? I smiled and replied – India.
He: (Smiles).. that I already guessed, where in India?
I: I am from Ranchi, and here my friends are from Andhra.
Friends also said their hellos and introduced themselves.
He: I am from Gujrat (broad smile).. nice meeting you all. So how long have you been here.
I: Its not been too long, I am here for a little over a week actually.
He: Oh! So have you settled down well, have you?
I: Yeah..kind of.. in the process.
He: I know it can difficult initially, so if you need any help with anything just let me know.
I: O thank you! Ya I will.
Sub was ready by then, so we paid up and went to sit somewhere and enjoy our meal. Enjoyed the meal, I told my colleague, we need to call a taxi. Why don’t you go and find a taxi number. He said ok, I will ask Sam (the Store Manager) for the number. And he went to the counter, and in less than 20 seconds he was back with Sam. And Sam shot at us, in a nice way actually, didn’t I tell you to let me know if you need any help. And you are asking for a taxi number. Come on I will drop you guys.
I: No, I know it’s a busy hour at work. Just give us a number if you have and we will go. We will be fine Sam, thank you!
Sam: Please! I have been in this country for so long, and I not always had a car. But I never took a taxi. I called friends but never a taxi. They are so insanely over priced. Come I will drop you.
Started moving our cart.
I: No please Sam, its really alright.
Sam: No it is not. It hardly takes 5 minutes from here to your place. I have an efficient team here, they will manage it. And before I could speak further he was pushing the cart out of Walmart. We looked at each other in confused amazement, and followed him.
He emptied the cart in the boot of his car. And we moved from there. On the way he told stories about his early days in USA. The struggle he had to go through, and how he managed to finally own a store of his own. Very interesting story, and by the time the story got over, we reached home.
We thanked him and told him we will see him again when we visit Walmart again. And he said by the way let me know if you guys want to see Niagra, its just an hour from here. We didn’t know how to react for a minute. He was amazing. With the promise we will tell him if and when we want to go, we said bye and he left.
And after entering the apartment, we three could not stop talking about him and his nicety. You don’t meet good people every day. And especially after my UK experience, this was such a refreshing surprise.

Incident II:
Still early days I decided to buy some furniture for my so empty looking apartment. I was checking out some classifieds and I found one interesting deal. There was this person moving out of the place and looking for someone who could buy his entire furniture at a very low price if he was paid up the same day. I called him up, and found he was actually staying in the same community as I, and as close as the next parking lot. So the distance between his house and mine was about 400 meters at the max. I went there in the evening and checked out the furniture. It wasn’t too bad and hence I paid up immediately. This happened to be a Friday, and he said he was moving out the next Friday, so I needed to pick up the furniture before that. I was fine with the idea. So I came back home, looked for some “movers” numbers and called one such service up. They said I had to come to their office in the morning and pay up and then only can I get the truck. So I and one of my colleagues, Ramya, decided to go there in the morning. From their instructions it looked like this place was just ten minutes walk from my house. And hence we started walking. After walking for 20 minutes we were tired and not even first of the three landmarks was in sight. So we called up my manager to ask if he knew where this place was. He checked out in the internet maps and said it was indeed 10 minutes away if we were driving at a speed of 60mph. Aargh! We immediately called up a taxi. Finally we reached their office. I introduced myself and told them I called them last night and this morning. So they were prepared for me. Lady at the counter immediately started processing my request and I looked for my wallet to pay up for the truck. And then she politely said she needed to see my driving license before closing the deal. Driving license? Oh well, I don’t drive! I can show my passport!
Hey no, we need to see your driving license, before you take the truck away!
You mean I will be DRIVING this truck?
Yes ofcourse, oh OFCOURSE, who else? We don’t supply drivers! We just lend trucks!!
REALLY! If you want I can pay something extra if you can provide someone to drive the truck as well.
Sorry madam, we don’t do that!
ugh.. Ok! :( :( Thanks anyway! :(
We came back in the same taxi! Aamdani atthanni kharcha rupaiya.
I was very disappointed, and perplexed too. I didn’t know how I was supposed to move the furniture that I had already paid for. I came back and decided to ask at the office of this residential community if they would know any means to achieve this. They suggested I could take movement cart from their concierge’s desk, this is the way most of them moved their furniture.
I went to the concierge’s desk to seek the cart. It was not a cart, it was a dolly. Anyway I took it and went to take the furniture. I knew it would take at least 7 rounds to get all the things. I and the furniture guy picked the two-seater couch and placed it somehow on the dolly. And I pushed it to my apartment. At the apartment I called my colleague Ramya out and we two helped the couch in. And by the time we were done, we were totally exhausted! I was panting and searching for breath. There was no chance I would go back the same moment to get more furniture. So I phoned the furniture guy that I will be coming later. Then I searched some websites for some individual laborers who helped you move. I found a number and dialed. This person, said he would be able to help but not over the weekend. I had an action packed Monday so I asked him to come on the Tuesday, to which he agreed. So I enjoyed my weekend and on Tuesday when I called the mover up, he said he had a friend visiting him so it was difficult on Tuesday and he will come the next day. I informed my furniture friend yet again and he understood. He though warned me towards any further delay as he was moving out on Friday. And then he went to add if it wasn’t possible till Friday, his room-mate will be back on Saturday and I can collect it then. So I thought Saturday sounds good, I too don’t have to rush back from office. And then I called up the mover again. This time he didn’t take the call, so I left a voice mail. He never returned the call. I was also at ease, as I knew the furniture guy’s roomie would be there anyway.
And soon the weekend arrived. I kept trying the mover but he refused to take the call. I started calling fresh set of people, but someone needed 100$ for movement, someone was occupied over the weekend. And at 5 in the evening the door-bell rang. There was this person I had not seen before at my door. He introduced me as furniture guy’s roomie, and he said in an hour’s time he was leaving for Boston for good! And he didn’t know what to do about my furniture. I couldn’t believe me ears. Did he just say he was leaving forever! Yes, he said that! And did he say he was going in an hour. Oh yes! He said that too!! I didn’t know this part. My brain stopped working, and then he gave a possible solution – “Well I can give you my keys for today, tomorrow morning, the resident office people come and throw away whatever is inside and they will also change the lock. So see if you can do something by then.” I wanted to meet the resident office guys and explain the situation. But I realized they close office at 5. I still tried, but they were closed. I was coming back when I thought of meeting the Indian students from University of Rochester who study in the library. They were usually found there and library was on my way back. So I went in, and they were actually there. So I straight away explained the situation to them and asked them if anyone of them could drive a truck or would they know some mover who has a truck too. And the answer I got was – hey why would you need any of that! We are there, we will move the stuff. How much is it there? There was too much stuff to be transported. He decided to have a look. I said this was out of question. I did not expect them to pick the stuff and move it when it was so cold outside, and then they were studying too. But he did not listen to any of that, and he called up some more friends of this. All of us met at the furniture guy’s house. They had a look at the furniture and said it was very doable! I wasn’t comfortable with the idea. I know these guys work over the weekends to make some pocket money. So I finally offered them if they transport, I will give them the 40$ the mover had demanded. To which one of them retorted how could I even think they would charge an Indian! I was still uncomfortable but pleased by the thought. So I offered them dinner sometime, and they said you can order some pizza when we all meet at the library the next time. Or you can call us for some Indian food too. But if you call us home, you may call 4 of us and it will be 6-8 people who will turn up. :) I was absolutely fine with this. Not that they cared, they didn’t want anything. And they moved my entire furniture within an hour.
A big headache was over and I was so relieved. I will call all these people over for dinner sometime. But none of these pizza or Indian food can return the favour. And I am very pleased by the fact that the myth I had formed about the Indians abroad has been thrown out of the door.

There is a law and there is a hope...

2008-10-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

What goes up must come down! September elated me, and October was a dampener. Caught me offguard and shook me completely. I am glad this month has come to an end. I hope so has the flavour that it brought with it.
More later...

...

2008-10-22T18:23:00.000-07:00

tumul kolahal kalah mein, main hriday ki baat re mann..

September was for Friends

2008-10-13T20:15:00.000-07:00

What a month that was!
- Kapil sends an i-pod nano for me :)
- My travel plan gets finalized. Iya throws a surprise party. I go there with Shrestha. And there i get to meet Sandy, Anubhav, Jose and Taj. And ofcourse Aman too! There is cake and there is wine and there is food and there are games. Some singing and dancing.. we (me and Shrestha) stay over at Iya's place.
- Shrestha buys me a pair of shoes. I needed one pair so badly! :)
- There is a buzz in the group to celebrate each and every day before I leave for US.
- Smita Di (who i had not met in the last five years) sponsors my ticket for Kolkata to ensure I meet my parents and dadi before coming, and ofcourse her too. :) She buys me a Hidesign bag, of my choice :)
- I team up with my Dad and surprise my mom and dadi by appearing from nowhere :)
- After coming back, Shiks and Vineha decide to raid my humble abode. They stayed over two nights. Idea was to spend time together. :)
- Mike, Ashwathy and Rahul take me out to Barista at Leela Palace at midnight. Why at midnight? I wasnt free any other time :)
- Anubhav takes the the gang out for lunch at Herbs n Spices. It was my last day in office. In the hectic days gone by i had not realized what all can change when i come back. Anubhav makes me realize this, and this is the first time i get emotional about this entire thing. We part on a happy note though. :)

- Shree gives me something very special. Its Ganesha, who will protect me from all evil :)
- Shrestha and I decide to dine out at midnight. Shall we go, shall we not, shall we.. shall we not.. and two tired but starving people head for Leela Palace for a midnight meal. Actually Iya had suggested a plan and a place, but dropped the plan as there was not a pin also that i had packed. And i had begun to get nervous.
- Taj calls. We are out at Leela and between the calls we are unable to talk. I know Taj is in Chennai and I can talk to him later also. Had not spent any time with Shrestha so I tell Taj I am sleepy. Smell something fishy. Wait for him to say something while pretending i am sleeping. And next thing i know is he is in Bangalore :) and standing outside my house :) He comes over to Leela. Picks up Shiks also on his way. :)
- Final day Mike, Ashwathy, Bhanu and Vineha give me a beautiful gift. Its a picture of them. Its wonderful!
- Iya comes over to see me off.
- Sandy comes over to see me off.
- Taj comes over to drop me to the airport. (Reminds me of the journey to airport Taj)
- Shrestha takes care of everything i have no time for but need to be done. Her brain is still working when I am like an inch away from insanity. She gets some food packed as well. And she gets the most beautiful card which looks like was created with us in mind.
- We head for airport and the journey is most interesting. I almost had a heart attack. Sandy really helped by enquiring aloud about next flights to Mumbai. She is sure I will miss the flight. :)
- Shrestha distributes food to us. Resource crunch. Only one person can eat at a time. She is the hungriest of us all. She still eats the last.
- Iya saves me by telling Taj in whispers just loud enough for me to hear that we are heading in the wrong direction. I was gasping for oxygen after that. :)
- We reach the airport just in time. And yet again I hear my name being announced on the Airport loud speakers.."this is the last and final boarding call for Anumeha Ajay.." Phew!
- Reach Mumbai. Yo has driven down from Pune to Mumbai. It was most unbelievable. I am meeting her after a year and a half. She says she wanted to ensure we meet once every year. This year would have gone by and thus she had to come :) Gifts me a book too :)
- I leave the country after that but this was not the end. I have a transit in JFK. And as I come out of the terminal, there he was. Kapil came over from Stamford to meet me. I just had 3 hours there in which one hour went into official formalities. And he knew it would be that way. But still came over.

Updated on 22 Oct: This post would be incomplete without a special mention of Amit, Amy the Shamy, who was far away, not in touch, did not know about my travel plans, but sensed it, and called me a day before i left. Thanks Amit! :)

Unbelievable! I am glad to have all of you for friends. I am very fortunate in friendship, I would say I am blessed with most amazing friends, and i am well aware of this fact. Touchwood!

dil dhoondhta hai...

2008-10-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

..phir wohi fursat ke raat din!

:(

So long!

2008-09-09T03:31:00.000-07:00

After spending five long but glorious years in my previous project, it was time for me to move on, and so I did. Some of my friends out there would say it was not ‘time for me to move on’, you were late by like two and a half good years! Well they can say whatever they want to, I don’t know if they were right or I was, but what I know for certain is as always moving on wasn’t easy! I would have cribbed about that place a million times, but I have appreciated that place a zillion and one times. I hated it, but I loved it more. True, I had differences sometimes, many a times, more on objects than with subjects, and it is also true that I made lots of friends there. It’s a fact that to grow in life you need more exposure and one project is not enough, and it is also true that this one project allowed me to play 8 different roles in this span of time. I know some people would have disliked me, but I also disliked some. :) I know lot of them liked me, and I too liked many. :)
Daughter of an Army Officer, moving on has been a part of life for me. So much so that I would joke sometimes that I have never entered the same room for so long ever before in my life. Five years is indeed a long time. I am moving on to meet higher aspirations, I am moving on for better prospects, for greener pastures, but I will not move on without acknowledging the fact that I loved all these five years, I don’t regret a thing, and I would cherish these memories forever.

Way back into love!

2008-09-06T05:50:00.000-07:00

Addicted to this. Thanks Shrestha for introducing me to this song. :) Thanks Virat for introducing Shrestha to this song. :)

And the lyrics:
[Verse 1]
(Drew Barrymore)
I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on!

(Hugh Grant)
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!

[Chorus]
(Both)
All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
Oooooh.

[Verse 2]
(Drew Barrymore)
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere!

(Hugh Grant)
I've been looking for someone to shed some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction,
And I'm open to your suggestions.

[Chorus]
(Both)
All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!

[Middle-eight]
(Drew Barrymore)
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

[Chorus]
(Both)
All I want to do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,
And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
And if you help me to start again,
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!

kyun?

2008-08-16T02:48:00.000-07:00

ret par chalte the pehle, do khush jode kadmon ke
ek thak kar tham gaya aur doosra badhta hi chala
jodte donon ko ab bhi, hain kadam ke kuchh nishan
gham to hai donon ke mann mein, joda yeh kyun bikhra hi kyun
aur ab jo yeh ho hi gaya to kyun leher aati nahi..

***************************************************************************
bheed mein rone ki khwahish - poochhenge log sau sau sawaal
raat bhar takiye ko seencha, sookha gala aur aankein hain laal
sunte the hum ki din naya, laata ummeedein saahas naya
aur jab samjhaya khud ko to kyun seher aati nahi..

***************************************************************************
na khat likha na koi baat hi ki, par yaad to aati rahi
har dopahar veeran sadak par, woh nazar jaati rahi
roz daakiya dar pe aaya, roz khat padh aankhein thi nam
chaha nashe mein khud ko bhulana, kyun bekhudi chhaati nahi..

Gold

2008-08-11T03:33:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my parents this morning when I got this news. India bagged a ‘Gold’ in the Olympics! Yeyyyy! I mean yeyyyyyyyy!! I am sure there are thousands of Indian cynics out there who are not so excited about this and may just brush this off by a mean – Why are we going gaga over one Olympic medal? The nations that really win easily win over a cent. And we celebrate one! And I say a “Shut up!” to all of them. It is not often that you hear India bagging a medal and that too a Gold in Olympics. How often do you see the tricolor being hoisted and Jan-gan-man being played at such international events? Lets celebrate an achievement and not undermine it. Lets take pride in this one medal and hope, pray, and strive for more. Jai Hind!

Woh bhooli daastaan..!

2008-08-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

This incident happened some ten years back. I was in twelfth grade. Ours was a small colony where everybody knew everybody. There were only eight families actually so knowing everybody wasn’t such a big deal. It was a Separated Family Accomodation (SFA) which meant all the Dads were away serving some field stations or non-family stations and families were left behind.

During summer vacations it was the most enjoyable time when all our mothers used to assemble at one place and all the kids at some other. And the two gatherings would keep busy till late in the evening. But after the vacations got over most of the kids got busy with studies, tuitions, but mothers’ routine didn’t change much. They still had their share of evening walks and post walk snacks and nimbu-paani break. While all the moms enjoyed being there, moms with small kids at home found it difficult to be there for long. So on one hand they wanted to be gossiping with the group, they also had small kids, waiting to paint the walls or do some damage at home, to take care of. So they usually went back early (earlier than the others) with heavy hearts. One such mom one day came to my house and sat to chat with my mom. All other moms followed. They were having a gala time when this mom realized the kids were let loose for long. She not wanting to go was stuck with no alternative. That’s when my mom like an angel, for her, intervened to show her a divine path. She suggested that this mom should go back and get her kids also to our house. They will sit and study with didi in the dining room. (This didi in question was me). I heard my mom say this and I couldn’t believe she said this. I mean just because you all are having a good time, am I expected to baby sit!! Well, this mom was back in less than 3 minutes with her two small boys. The elder was in first grade and the younger in upper kindergarten. They were asked to join me in dining room where they came running, all too pleased to study (!) with me (!!). Well!!

As soon as they stepped in started a series of questions ranging from what is a goblet to why did we have a certain poster in our dining room (that looked vulgar to their sensibilities), to why our ‘TV’ in dining room was called an OTG, and so forth? I was in no mood to allow any further quizzing, so I decided to quiz them. Clever.. he he he! So I told them I would be giving them ten jumbled words. All will be names of some animals and the person who gets most answers correct is the winner. I asked them to have patience for five minutes to allow me to set the question paper, and then make a copy of it so that both get their own copy. They showed patience and the paper was ready. I thought my genius worked. Now I could be at peace for half an hour at least after which I will give them another set. Before I could finish reading one page of the book I was reading (I was studying.. I also studied..ok..) the elder one submitted the paper, and within ten seconds of him, the younger one also submitted. I checked and I found both of them got all correct. All my TIGER, LION, DEER, BEAR, ELEPHANT and the likes were in place. Very good I said and before I could say something more, I was requested for one more paper. I prepared one more, and this time I also had GIRAFFE and ALLIGATOR and JAGUAR and the likes in it. But this time also they didn’t take anything more than 5 minutes. Ok so my game wasn’t going very well! But guess who comes for my rescue. They ofcourse! They volunteered to set a paper for me this time. I was only too happy to allow them to do it, knowing jumbling the words alone would take ten minutes. But in less than 5 minutes yet again, my question paper was ready. They didn’t look too pleased with themselves and the reason was they couldn’t think beyond 8 words. And hence I just had 8 questions on my paper. I, like a true senior, pepped them with some kind words and appreciated the eight they could put together. And then I began solving the paper.

I had no idea what the first word was. I moved to word number two after spending 30 seconds on the first word. They looked pleased with my inability to crack their puzzle. But well, the second word was easy, just that they had misspelled it. It was a scrambled ‘hairpin’. They had given me an ‘a’ in place of an ‘i’. And I suspected more errors of this sort across the paper. But the younger one shrieked, “no didi, this is not the right answer..uffo..”. and I looked at them with a ‘well I understand’ look. But no, this didn’t make them happy. So the elder one decided to speak, “didi I will give you a hint, all these are different types of fishes”. Different types of fishes!! Fishes!! Are you serious?? They were serious ofcourse! They had collected these names from the numerous shows on Discovery channel which happened to be their favourite channel. I was clueless as to what to do next. I looked for a SHARK or a WHALE, or may be a BLUE WHALE. Tried a DOLPHIN, a GOLDFISH and this was all I had in my vocabulary. I could not answer even one correctly. My ‘hairpin’ turned out to be ‘PIRANHA’ (I know I know there is a movie by this name, but I heard about that movie much later). So kids came out with flying colours and didi in twelfth scored a 0 on 8.

I hated them so much that moment and their laughter sounded so much like a demon’s in Alif Laila! They sat there for at least an hour more engrossed in their own studies. And I was engrossed in mine, just that nothing was penetrating through my mind any more. Too much television everywhere..hunh!

Aap karte kya hain?

2008-07-11T11:50:00.000-07:00

Life was much simpler in earlier times when there were some limited professions to choose from. Or at least people near me were familiar with limited few which were perhaps most popular and common. Earlier when the family sat together and we were asked what we wanted to grow up as, answers were very simple. Bhaiya was always ready to settle for an Army life, and I too was quite keen on a career in air force. My daadi (grand mother) used to put words in my mouth with her suggestions which were
- a Probationary Officer in a reliable bank like the State Bank of India
- a news reader
- an IPS officer. She never though said you should become an IPS officer some day, she always said you should become Kiran Bedi some day.
And today, when I have landed in the Software Engineering discipline, my folks know I am doing something related to computers, but they have no idea what it is like. My parents asked me the other day - if someone asks me what you do, what should I tell them! I said just tell them I am a software engineer.
The next question was – and what is your designation? I am a Project Lead.
Next – what does this mean? I did not know what to tell them completely knowing my parents are away from technology. I tried explaining the best I could, but the looks on their faces convinced me it didn’t help!
My eldest Jijaji once picked me up from a gathering and asked me to follow him to his computer. I was sure he was facing a problem with some application and he needed a hand there. When I went there to find the problem, he pointed me to his system and told me the speaker was working till evening, and suddenly it stopped working. I checked for some lose connections but everything was fine, but next moment I understood he was looking for some concrete answer, like this particular driver is not working or something like that. And when I told him I didn’t quite understand he gave a look which kind of meant – I don’t think you are doing too well at your job!
My grandmother who has given up in her endeavors to understand the nature of my job now has just one question on the profession front – paisa badhaya unho ne ya nahi?
So now that I too have understood there is no use explaining what is the nature of my work, I tell them I am a glorified factory worker putting blocks together, and helping others too put their blocks together in order to some day erect a big beautiful building that would delight its owners someday.

I truly believe this is exactly what I do!

Lost!

2008-07-08T23:17:00.000-07:00

There was a chill in the air. Had it rained outside? He peeped out of the window and saw a pool of water, reflecting the yellow glow of the street light, still being shelled by tiny drops of rain. He looked at his watch. It said 21:44. Tired of browsing the channels he settled for NDTV. It was rerunning the same news he saw an hour back already. Anyway, there was nothing else to do so he didn’t take any action on the TV. He looked at his phone for traces of some message or phone call that he missed! There was none! Everyday after coming back from office, he got to hear himself only after going there again the next morning.
He remembered the crowd that he was walking with at the beginning of his journey, and the ‘gangs’ he too was part of. He also remembers the gangs thinning down when some friends opting for better opportunities, better career, moved away. But this day there is no one. All the gangs seemed to have disappeared. The ads on the TV were getting too loud, he switched the TV off. And the room was enveloped into complete silence. After a while this silence also gets unnerving and after days together of following exactly the same routine minus the rain, he was still not used to it.
He looked back at his life and started remembering all his friends. And then amidst all these good memories, there was a disturbing commonality. He remembered all his friends, one after the other, and the last few times they met, or spoke over the phone. He realized this clashed with the period when he was neck deep into work and hence could not talk to them at length, could not join them for lunches, and dinners, and coffees, and movies. He remembers telling most of them he will call them sometime, but that never happened. He remember some of his friends still calling numerous times when he was ‘busy’, and it sounded like disturbance. Though he never shot back at them! And as he remembered this he also remembered that if you answer the phone with a smile, it travels across. Does the annoyance also travel across? He felt uncomfortable.
And then he finally realized that the damage was done! May be this was what God had planned for him. So may be this was not entirely his fault, may be God wanted it to be this way! Well being alone also had its share of advantages. He started counting the advantages.
1. You can read all the books in the world without being disturbed.
2. You can go to all the pubs and enjoy from the corner, looking at people and sipping your drink. (But would this sound better if he had some company too in there?)
3. ..errrr..!
He could not count further. He felt he needed to cheer up and so he started humming a song that he thought summed his condition so well – ‘Akele hain, toh kya gham hai, chaahein to hamare bas mein kya nahi... bas ik zara saath ho.. (ouch!)’
He started feeling stuffy inside the room. He stepped out. It was still raining. He decided to take a stroll in the rain. He was away for 20 minutes and when he was completely soaked, he came back. He thought he felt refreshed and good too, finally! He sat in the verandah outside, wanting to see the rain some more. Wanting to see the rain some more at close to 12 at night? What was there to see? What could be seen? He got immersed into thoughts again. The next time when he looked at his watch he realized it was quarter past one. There was no one to tell him he needed to get out of his wet clothes. He lazily got up, feeling a small cramp building up his legs, and got inside. He found himself still humming a song. But this time it was ‘..tanhayee tanhayee meelon tak phaili hui tanhayee..’

...

2008-06-09T09:43:00.000-07:00

"liye sapne nigahon mein chali hoon teri raahon mein zindagi aa rahi hoon main.."
:)

The Great Expectations

2008-06-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

Experience, from stone ages, has been the biggest teacher. You have read or heard this umpteen times in your life but you don’t know until you learn from your own experiences. After coming to Bangalore there was some more learning in life, some theoretical some practical. One of the theoretical learning was – “you must not expect anything from anyone. This leads to misery and nothing else”. And I must have used this line like a hundred times to preach others. But recently I came to realize that you become a saint if you stop expecting from people, especially who you are close to. How can you not expect!! What kind of bond would that be where people don’t expect from each other. At work it is quite straight forward, something is expected out of you all the time. Great if you please and please some more, good if you manage to meet the expectations, and your next year is sure going to be dreadful if you did not meet the expectations that the organization has from you. So at work it is quite mechanical and defined. But when it comes to relationships, you can not be so mechanical. As long as expectations are met, things are in control. But as soon as a person starts falling short of your expectations there starts a string of differences, bawling, sobbing, yelling, howling and threatening. The “expector” feels betrayed or neglected and the “expectee” feels pressurized and smothered. Does no good to any one here!
So its time now become wiser and work towards achieving sainthood. Life will be a lot better if I manage to go half way through.
I suggest the same to you, but I know you will not learn this lesson from my experience, nobody really learns such lessons from anybody else’s experiences.

Tagged!

2008-05-14T05:17:00.000-07:00

I didn't know what "tagged" really meant until now. I was tagged by Amit and I sent him the response in a mail only to later find it is supposed to go into my blog. So here it is:

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?
Shaurya. Found it good. Inspired by ‘A few good Men’.

2. What book are you reading?
The Book of Laughter and Forgetting, by Milan Kundera

3. Favorite board game?
Chess

4. Favorite magazine?
Filmfare :)

5. Favorite smells?
Cool Waters

6. Favorite sounds?
Pitter-patter – I love rains

7. Worst feeling in the world?
Feeling of loneliness.

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
Will my maid servant come today?

9. Favorite fast food place?
McDonalds.. mm I’m lovin it!

10. Future child’s name?
..ab abhi se socha to purana ho jaayega

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?”
..spend a lot. Make world a better place for a lot of people.

12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
If you consider pillow a stuffed animal :)

13. Storms - cool or scary?
Super cool!

14. Favorite drink?
Cappuccino with Irish shot.

15. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?
.. travel a lot. See a lot of new places.

16. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Nope.

17. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
hmm.. honey brown may be.

18. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?
Bareilly, Gurdaspur, Udhampur, Kanpur, Ranchi, Kolkata, Mathura, Hyderabad, Bangalore, Cedar Rapids, Scarborough.

19. Favorite sports to watch?
Cricket and Tennis.

20. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?
The best thing about the person who sent this to me is his genuineness and ability to bring smile to faces.

21. What’s under your bed?
Bags, Suitcases, shoes, and a water bottle without water :)

22. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
I think so.

23. Morning person, or night owl?
Night owl!

24. Over easy, or sunny side up?
Sunny side up.

25. Favorite place to relax?
Home sweet home!

26. Favorite pie?
Apple Pie!

27. Favorite ice cream flavor?
Figs

28. Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?
Iya

I hereby tag Vini bhaiya, Iya, Kapil, Ashwathy and Vineha. :)

He is back!

2008-05-01T02:56:00.000-07:00

His alma-maters include prestigious names like IIT Delhi and IIM A.

After spending 11 years in Hong Kong he is back to India. He works with an Investment Bank in Mumbai.

He is one of the best and the wackiest storytellers I have come across.

He boasts of 100% success with the two books he has written so far. Both went on to become the Numero Uno in popularity charts. He is the biggest selling English author in India’s history.
You guessed it right, he is Chetan Bhagat! And he is back!!

Chetan Bhagat is back with his third book – “The 3 mistakes of my life”. This book hits the store countrywide on the 08th of May. Don't forget to grab your copy when it arrives!

All the best Chetan, wish you success with this book too!

Visit this link to know more: http://www.chetanbhagat.com/index.html

I dont use this space for any sort of promotion or endorsements, but some people deserve being talked about everywhere. Chetan Bhagat is one of them.

My Daddy Strongest!

2008-04-19T07:55:00.000-07:00

I had just turned six when we moved to Udhampur from Gurdaspur. This meant lot of new things - a new place, new house, new friends and a new school. Thus far in life, the only way I knew to commute to my schools (the previous two) was on the bicycle with our batman bhaiya (I still wonder why sahayak’s in Army are called batman!). But this school was a little far and hence I was supposed to commute in the school bus. Papa dropped me on the first day. He introduced me to the Principal, my class teacher, showed where my class was, and also the bus area. Now this school had two gates, one in the front and one at the back. We had come from the front gate, but the buses stood at the back gate. Papa told me to go to the bus area outside the back gate when the school gets over and get into the bus number 36. I am sure I was too excited about being at the new school, finding new friends and I would have ‘pretended’ to have understood all the instructions. He left soon after for his office. In the afternoon after the school got over, students marched in two different directions, some towards the front gate for the civil bus and some at the back gate for the army school buses. I was kind of sure where I had to go. I wanted to go to the gate where I came from. This is how it worked in the last two schools. I was not even interested in knowing where the other line of students was marching to. So I came out of the first gate and started looking for bus 36. This proves I tried to follow Papa’s instructions, just that I didn’t catch all of them. Bus 36 was not to be seen anywhere. Let alone 36 there was no ‘shaktimaan’ (a big green army bus.. looks like a truck though) bus here at all. I started running here and there to see if I could spot my bus before it was too late. But to no avail. The civil buses and private vehicles started moving out of the parking place. My heart started racing, my eyes welled up and felt completely lost at this new place. This school was far, this place was new, I didn’t know how to go home. Tears were rolling down and soon I was crying at the top of my voice. Because of the high volume, I managed to draw attention of a couple of teachers and some students who were waiting for there bus to come. This was the last bus which usually came very late. One of the teachers approached me and asked me what the matter was and which bus was I supposed to get into. As soon as she heard I had to board bus 36, she said I had to go to the back gate and the buses would have left. I was feeling completely lost, literally. In that state of chaos, through the blurred vision caused by tears in my eyes, I saw a one-ton (it is a kind of army vehicle) turning towards the parking and I saw Papa sitting inside. In no words can I explain the relief I felt when I saw Papa’s face. It was like getting my life back inside me. I ran to him, clung on his legs and cried like hell. He didn’t say much, just kept coaxing me till we reached home.
Papa still has the same way of appearing from nowhere, has the same effect of bringing me to peace when the scene around is most chaotic. I know he can handle and he will handle everything. My Papa is the best Papa in this world!

Lady in Red

2008-04-11T13:46:00.001-07:00

We were thinking of anagrams today and lo which anagram tops the list of my favorites: Anil Reddy – Lady in Red. Once again we broke into convulsions of laughter. And incidentally today itself while looking for an old mail, I came across this masterpiece from Amit.

Addy, your name sure is versatile :)

today?..tomorrow?...ever?

2008-04-11T12:23:00.000-07:00

When can you call yourself successful? Is there a destination or is it an eternal journey. Can you someday get up and announce now I am successful? Ok may be not announce but feel so. Do you think you are successful?

Why?

Why not?

Congratulations!

2008-04-04T07:49:00.000-07:00

WASE 2002 completes 5 glorious years!

Rain rain don't go away!

2008-04-04T07:27:00.001-07:00

Popping migraine tablets and working late hours has been the story yet again for past couple of months. No, things are still not much better. Every night I still sleep with the famous line “life is calling where are you?”. Though thankfully I didn’t get into one of those frustrated phases. I was enjoying till a few days back. But in the last few days, I started feeling the fatigue. And it was at the zenith of its capacity on the Wednesday gone by. I needed a break so badly. I wanted to just switch my phone off for a few days and switch myself off along as well. I dragged myself out of the office and went to the basement to ride back home. I often come back home with Kapil on his dashing CBZ! :) There was a chill in the air. Shrestha had warned me about the rain but there was no trace of rain when we came out and hence there were no two thoughts about the mode of transportation. Now after we reached half way which is almost in the middle of no where, it started pouring. I could smell the rain washing the dry parched land all around us. And the showers were quite heavy. But in place of getting uncomfortable about this sudden situation, I had already started enjoying it and wanted to enjoy it a lot more. We were right in front of the M2 office and Kapil asked if we should be stopping there. I didn’t want to but I didn’t want to say that upfront as Kapil might not have been keen on getting soaked. After all he was the one who had to ride in that downpour, and that too with his power glasses. But he also decided that there was no point in stopping after getting soaked already. And then we continued. I loved the ride till home. I hummed all the nice rain songs I could think of all along. It proved to be such a stress buster too. I went home and had a sound sleep which is not a regular phenomenon of late. And the mood is back on track :)

What's wrong with them?????

2008-02-24T05:29:00.000-08:00

Some people can go on cursing their destiny. With such people you can choose to get into one of these modes:

Console – say every dark cloud has a silver lining. Believe me it never helps.
Sympathize – tell them you understand. They will shoot back saying no one can understand until put through the same situation.
The hybrid, sympathize and console - say every dark cloud has a silver lining. Tell them you understand. Believe me it never helps. They will shoot back saying no one can understand until put through the same situation.
Listen and keep quiet – Say hmm..hmm..hmm.. and mind your own business. Do this and they will pick up all dark clouds of your life and show there is absolutely no silver lining in your dark clouds. All such people will get together and conspire and prove to you that your glass is not half but three-fourth empty and that there is a hole at the bottom of your glass. Whatever you do it will never fill up.

Try to avoid the fourth option. This can ruin your life.

Its all coming back to me now..!

2008-02-15T05:57:00.000-08:00

I felt nostalgic. I was on the terrace. I could look down to the world, the old one and the new one too. This new world came up in front of my eyes. I have followed its progress right from its initiation days. I went to the far end of the terrace, and sat on the bar. This was the place from where I used to keep an eye on people in amphitheatre. They could not imagine someone watching them from the terrace and often were perplexed as to how I exactly knew what they were doing. I use to amuse myself a lot this way.
It was often some unprecedented incident that brought me here, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. I remembered coming to terrace with some friends at office. We danced in the rain and got soaked. We had lots of work unfinished, there was no way we could go home this early. It was just 3 in the afternoon. None of us had a change of clothes. But we lived the moment and jumped in the water, splashed it, danced, sang, had fun. And when we came back, there were some bewildered eyes, and some crazy uproar, lot of noise, thousand and one questions, also questioned was our sanity, but all in good humor. We enjoyed.
And then there was this major showdown with my manager. It left me shaking with anger. I could have lost my temper so badly inside the workplace, and that was the last thing required on earth. I raced towards the terrace again and stood there for a long time. I cried, with ease, nobody could have spotted me there. I regained composure and came back a little better.
And there were tea sessions with friends. The elevation made us feel on the top of the world. It was a beautiful view from there. And the terrace gave us enough space to run and talk, play around, click pretty pictures of the very picturesque site down, took crazy pictures of ourselves fooling around on the terrace, listened to Radio City, unwound.
Standing there sometimes, looking down into the bus bay, observing the mayhem before the buses left, and the silence after they were gone, and humming to myself – “kaarwaan guzar gaya, gubaar dekhte rahe..” for some unknown reason.
Months passed away without going there even once. And when I went there today, I relived my stint in this organization, all the happy times, and all the sad times, that made memories. I felt bad.. I felt good.. I felt nostalgic.

Guess who is back!

2008-02-15T05:56:00.000-08:00

I missed this place terribly. All these days this site was blocked in the office :( But not any longer :)

Humor of the day!!

2007-12-24T01:37:00.000-08:00

It is Christmas tomorrow. Half the floor at office is empty, Christmas being a Tuesday, many of them have taken off today, which makes this a long weekend for them. Now first of all we ourselves are excited about Christmas, and on top of that this kind of atmosphere in office has laid a foundation of laziness at work. Nobody is in the work groove, its holiday mood all around.

In order to do something different and say that yes we are also in the holiday spirit I and Kapil went to office coffee day for a late lunch. We were sitting there lazily sipping our coffee and whiling some time when Kapil said, "Anu I have a headache". To have some fun I, with a poker face, replied, "Kapil see how strange things are in life, sometimes you start getting what you actually are". I paused and then smiled. It took him a moment to understand this. His expressions gave an indication that he understood when suddenly the lines that had formed on his forehead when I passed this comment eased away in a flash. We both started smiling. And then he continued, "I am glad I didn’t say I have a pain in my ass today".

:)

Grace

2007-12-23T23:46:00.000-08:00

This is not a biography, but just one episode from her life, which perhaps left an impact on her. Life doesn't stop so it didn't, but it still made memories. And I am a sucker for moments that make memories. So presenting an episode from life of a good friend of mine, Grace.

Mr. Reiser was a man of few words. Business brought him to a small countryside of an old looking Britain. This place was called Whitby, in the north of Yorkshire. In summers, this place drew lot of tourist attention, because of the festivals, carnivals, beach and an old Abbey. But this time of the year, Halloween over some ten days back, the last tourist too perhaps would have left at least ten days back. Not wanting an extended travel time, Mr. Reiser checked into a small Bed and Breakfast lodge, which was five minutes walk from his office. For him, it was never a 5 minutes walk, but always a two minutes drive.
Grace was the only housekeeper of this lodge and Mr. Reiser, the only guest. Apart from Grace, there was just one more face that could be seen among the staff. This was of the night attendant who was never seen because he came at unruly hours of the night and left at unearthly hours before the crack of dawn. Grace always liked guests like Mr. Reiser, who did not expect her to drop his luggage and grocery to his room, talked less, and didn’t throw whims. Mr. Reiser was topping her favorite guest list because apart from the set criteria for liking a guest, he said thanks for everything, didn’t leave his wet towel on the bathroom floor, and kept his kitchen clean.
On this day, Mr. Reiser came back early from work. He looked a little pale. He straightaway headed for his room. Grace noticed that he didn’t look too well. Usually she waited for her guests to give her a shout if they needed something, but she knew that Mr. Reiser would not utter a word. He was different. So she approached his room and gently knocked at his door. She didn’t want to wake him up if he was asleep. She knocked again, equally gently this time again. Convinced that Mr. Reiser was asleep she turned back and took a step when the door opened behind her. She turned around immediately and apologized for having disturbed him.
“No Grace, its fine, I was not sleeping. Tell me is there something I can help you with.”
“Mr. Reiser, you looked pale when you walked in. I was wondering if everything was ok with you.”
“O yes! I am alright, thanks. Grocery store was closed, so just picked up some cold on the way. Nothing to worry about, I will be fine.” He smiled.
Grace smiled back briefly and asked, “Are you sure Mr. Reiser you want nothing?”
“Yes Grace, thanks for asking but! I appreciate.”
Grace asked him to call her for anything and turned to return back to her cabin when she heard Mr. Reiser’s voice again.
“Grace!”
She turned around.
“Grace I was wondering if you could get me some herbal tea, that is if you have it here with you in the kitchen. Please don’t bother too much, I just..”
“Certainly Mr. Reiser”, she interrupted him. “I have some herbal tea in the kitchen. I’ll get some for you. I will be back in a minute.”
Grace came back with a pack of herbal tea bags. She entered Mr. Reiser’s room seeing the door ajar. Mr. Reiser was lying on the couch with his eyes closed. She went to his kitchen and prepared tea for him. She was about to wake him up when she looked at his face and thought that it looked so tranquil and pleasant. He, indeed, had a very pleasant face. She realized that he couldn’t be sleeping on the couch if he wanted to sleep. So it was better to wake him up and serve him tea so that he can sleep comfortably on his bed afterwards. She woke him up. He thanked her for the tea. He had not realized when he slept off, when she came, and when she made tea for him. He offered her to sit. She obliged but added “only till your tea lasts. After its over you will sleep and I will go back.” He smiled and nodded. He took a sip and thanked her again. Tea was perfect. She smiled in acknowledgement. He asked her about her folks at home.
“I live here in Whitby all alone. That is how I chose it to be as I love Whitby. My parents live in Gloucestershire. They moved out of here seven years ago, after Dad retired. They loved Whitby too, but we were staying in his company’s accommodation. After his retirement we were expected to move out to another place here. They thought it was better to move back to the roots. We have a farm in Gloucester, and a home too. I decided to stay back because I love this place, and the people. I love summers here, the festivity, the happiness, when tourists flow in. Whitby looks beautiful then, decorated with colors…” and she went on and on and on. The usually quiet Grace talked with enthusiasm of a child, and the passion of a lover, when she talked about this place. 45 minutes (easily) would have passed by when Grace realized that the tea was long over. She felt sheepish and apologized for not realizing sooner.
“Grace, I was listening! First time in these twenty-five days of my stay in this town someone is talking to me, about something other than work. I loved listening to you. And your tea made me feel better too. So don’t apologize for anything. I thank you Grace. Thanks!”
She responded with an awkward smile. The kind of smile that a person delivers when he doesn’t know how to react to a compliment. “Ok Mr. Reiser, I think you must take some rest now, I will bore you with my stories some other time.”
“I will look forward Grace”. His pleasant face smiled too.

Next day was better for Mr. Reiser. He came back at his usual time. Grace greeted him and offered to make tea for him. Mr. Reiser replied saying, “only on a condition Grace! You will sit with me while I have my tea, but you will sit only till the time I have my tea.” They both looked at each other and broke into laughter. Grace prepared tea for both of them this time, and again started her non-stop talks. This time the topic was not Whitby. It was Sheffield this time. The place where she went for her middle school education. Everything about Sheffield! How it gets flooded in monsoons, what is it famous for, the famous kitchen store from where she picked up her jacket of chef-knives – a set of 12 shining knives, different shapes and sizes, and how each is used for a different purpose, and what the purpose can be.
This evening her story lasted an hour and a half. She found the best listener in Mr. Reiser. She looked at her watch, and this time didn’t apologize at all.
“Mr. Reiser I think you should rest now. I’ll see you again in the morning, breakfast time. Night Mr. Reiser.”
“Grace, I like your name, you have a beautiful name.” He paused, and then greeted her back, “Night Grace.”
She smiled once again, awkwardly again, not being able to handle a compliment again, and walked back.

Grace used to phone her parents every Sunday, after coming back from Church. Today, she called them in the middle of the week. They got worried and asked if everything was ok. Ofcourse everything was alright! This phone call was just to express her gratitude to them for naming her ‘Grace’. It was a beautiful name. Ofcourse she didn’t say this! “Just felt like talking to you”, she said. They felt very pleased by this small surprise. She felt pleased in their happiness.

This sequence of sitting with Mr. Reiser continued for some more days. She knew that she was getting drawn to him. She also knew that it wasn’t the best of things that could happen as he would leave in a week or two. They can never have a future together. Moreover what did she know about him?
The next evening when they sat with their tea together Grace started the conversation as usual, but this time to allow Mr. Reiser to speak.
“Everyday I talk endlessly, Mr. Reiser, and I am sure you are tired by now. Today is your turn to speak and I am the listener.”
“Grace, it’s a pleasure listening to you. But now that you have asked, all I can say is there isn’t much about me. I am a Professor by profession, love teaching and understanding Sciences. Currently I am whiling away my time researching on Plasma, the fourth state of matter. I am carrying out a research on something called ‘Ultracold Plasma’. While browsing the internet, I learnt that there is a unit of youngsters who are also trying to study something similar. Since I have already advanced a little on this topic, I thought I will help them out with their initial synopsis, and in the bargain, learn something from these fresh minds. I got in touch with them, and this is what brings me here. Grace, the nature of my work, and my love for it, expects me to spend longer hours at work. But I have started cutting my work at a fixed time every evening because I love listening to the enthusiastic stories of a young English girl who knows so much about her country and its people. It is a pleasure as much as it is insight sitting with her and listening to her every evening.”
He paused. No, he stopped. He was smiling now. Grace felt elated once again, but.. but this wasn’t all that she wanted to know.
“Thanks Mr. Reiser”, she said, “I like your company too. Tell me more. Tell me about your likes and dislikes.. and .. and your family.”
Reiser raised his face when his eyes met Grace’s. She was looking at him searching for something, waiting for something. He paused, and looked away. He looked at her again. There still was a question in her eyes. She was intently looking at him with bated breath. He looked away again and posing a very casual demeanor, answered her question.
“Well there is nobody in the family yet. Boring person that I am, I couldn’t find a girl also for myself. But as the age old adage goes – don’t go for someone whom you love, go for someone who loves you. Grace, I couldn’t find someone I felt something for, but I surely know that Sophie loves me a lot. She trusts me, tolerates my odd hours and busy weekends, she understands me completely. And this belief of hers makes me believe that I love her too, very much. So am not asking many questions, not confusing myself here at all, and planning to resign myself soon to her. So that will be the family then, that is whenever it happens.”
“And about likes and dislikes”, he continued, “well I dislike rains washing even day out of the summers. Summers are scarce, they are to enjoy.”
“And I like..mm..mm.. yes! I like ice-creams in winters. You feel the season better. Yes I love ice-creams in winters.”
Grace was looking at him, watery eyes and smiling face. It was like Mona Lisa minus the peace on the face. No, the face wasn’t restless either.
“Are you ok Grace?”
“Yes Mr. Reiser, why do you ask?”
Grace was upset for a few hours after which she talked to herself. This was not something that she didn’t expect. And this certainly should not keep her from admiring a person like Mr. Reiser, the best person perhaps she ever met. This also wont keep her from keeping a secret small corner in her heart, beating for Mr. Reiser. After all he is the best! As soon as she thought about this, she felt stupid about herself as this sounded like a clichéd dialogue from the weekly plays in the town hall theatre.

Reiser’s mission got over and the day finally arrived when he had to leave Whitby, for good. Reiser finished his packing, and booked an Airport taxi. Airport was far away, three and a half hours away, in a bigger city called Manchester. Taxi arrived in twenty minutes. He could see the taxi approaching the porch from his window. He had paying his bills to Grace last evening itself. Grace offered him some discount, but he declined. After all she wasn’t the owner of this lodge. She might have ended up paying the deficit from her pocket as she was not entitled to make such decisions, or so he thought. They had their last tea together last evening. There was no exchange of words. And then Reiser broke the silence. He told her she must write to him whenever she felt like, and gave her his business card. Grace took the card and nodded. There was silence for another 15 minutes after which Grace got up and said, “Mr. Reiser, you have to travel tomorrow. You must take rest now. Night.”
“Night Grace.”
And she left.
Now the taxi was here, he started strolling his luggage to the front door. He looked for Grace. She wasn’t to be seen anywhere. He looked inside her cabin. She wasn’t there. Instead the night attendant was sitting there. He asked the night attendant, “Hi! Do you know where Grace is?”
“Yes Mister. Grace is outside, waiting for you near your taxi.”
Reiser looked outside. There she was. She was standing near the taxi, in her overcoat, scarf, gloves and cap. She was perhaps going somewhere. He kept looking at her through the glass door for a while. She looked pretty, and upset. He came out with his bags. She smiled in greeting and helped him put his bags in the cab.
“Grace! You have been wonderful.” He slid his hand inside his inner coat pocket and took out some 20 pound bills. “Please don’t take it otherwise, just a friendly gesture of appreciation.”
“Mr. Reiser, please allow me to come with you till the airport.”
“Manchester is 3 hours and a half from here Grace. Don’t be stupid. Come on take this now and..”
“Mr. Reiser please!” She looked at him. And he couldn’t say no.
“But how’ll you come back.”
“Don’t you worry, I have grown in these lands. I will find my way back easily.”
He took her hand in his and pressed it softly, “you are crazy Grace, come along.” He opened the door for her. There was no exchange of words between them till the Manchester Airport. But he held her hand all through the journey. And he felt a soft grip reciprocated too.
At the Airport he went to collect his boarding pass at the counter. Grace also stood with him in the queue. There was no exchange of words still. He collected his boarding pass, and held her hand again. Her eyes watered. His nose turned red. Grace wondered if Mr. Reiser caught cold again. She remembered his pleasant face when he was sleeping on the couch down with cold. His face looked pale, and his nose looked white, but not pink. Was Mr. Reiser feeling a little overwhelmed too? She would never know, because she would never ask.
Security check was announced for his flight. He turned to Grace about to tell her to leave when suddenly Grace got alerted, as if she just woke up from a deep slumber. Her expression said she had forgotten something, something really major.
“Mr. Reiser, please be here. I will be back in a moment.”
“Ok but what’s the matter?”
She wasn’t there to answer the question. He saw her scampering towards the far end of the hall, towards the food court. He knew what it was. He saw her at the ice-cream counter, struggling to get past the queue. He kept looking at her. She looked back every ten seconds to ensure he was still there. Security check was announced again. Grace was still the third person from the third counter in this snail-paced queue. Reiser didn’t move.
Boarding was announced. He had no time. Terminals were some distance away from the security check area. She heard the boarding call too. Her heart was pounding. She ordered for an ice-cream, gave the money, collected the ice-cream plate, didn’t wait for the change, and ran back to him. “Ice-cream in winters”, she managed to smile while tears rolled down. He took the plate from her hand, and gave her a one hand warm embrace. Both of them knew he was late. He rushed towards security check. She stood there till he was in sight.

That was the last time they saw each other. Reiser gave her a call after reaching. Grace had his business card on her desk, but she never wrote to him. Reiser sent cards on occasions, none her personal, just festivals. She felt pleased but never replied. This didn’t stop the cards from flowing in.
She could never forget Reiser’s favour of waiting for the ice-cream despite boarding call, knowing how important it was for her. The secret corner in her heart, without letting her know also, still beats for Mr. Reiser.

Festivities and grandeur..!!

2007-12-15T07:38:00.000-08:00

Friday, 07 December 2007, Bangalore. I had to make a presentation to the customer. While I fortunately have never faced the brunt of his temper, and more importantly sarcasm, he is quite famous for having these weapons, scintillating and dazzling, in abundance, in his armory. Many have been his targets and there are lot of personal experiences stated everytime his name comes up. Hence I usually am cautious in my dealings with him. Having said all that, he also appreciates good work whole-heartedly and that is the reason why I quite like working with him.

For those few of you who are wandering here and don’t know me at all, I work for a software company, in the delivery stream. On this particular occasion, this presentation was basically a demo of a new application that we are currently developing. Development is half way through, and we are some four months away from its first release. Everyone who would have seen fresh developments before will agree with me that it is an anxious time for both you and your customer. While we still have a grip of things, the customer is left with no choice but to take our word on the health and timeliness of the project. And when he is unable to contain his anxiety any further, he asks you to demo all that has been developed and is ready. This is a health-check on the project to ensure things are under control. And also that it is in accordance with the progress that is highlighted to him every week.

So, as I said, I usually am cautious in my dealings with him, on this particular occasion there were lots and lots of other things that needed immediate and good amount of attention. Because of this I could not check all the areas that I needed to show as part of this demo. Not great! There wasn’t a confident nod from development team also for the demo. Quality Assurance team had its own doubts. Major doubts. All of us wanted it to be postponed by a day at least but it was not possible. I started testing the application three hours before the designated time. Some features were working, some were not working, and some features were sometimes-working-sometimes-not-working. I sent the agenda listing only those features that were working for sure. There was a disclaimer to the agenda which said these were some features selected at random for demo, and that I was open to barter some of those with some others if asked. I have never seen him changing my agenda earlier and was not expecting on this occasion either. I was right, he confirmed his consent and we got started with the presentation.

The presentation was building up well, I was five minutes into the presentation already and things were good so far. But as soon as I got comfortable, the law of serendipity took over the demo. It looked like the trailing list of features that I had picked from “that-definitely-worked” category were actually from “that-sometimes-work-sometimes-does-not-work” category. And these features chose ‘definitely not to work’ this time. Every time I said “on clicking this button, you will see..” .. was followed by “..umm I guess there is a problem here. I was getting nervous, Mr Customer also started asking questions like “did you see this working before”, and I went on with explanations like “this is an open issue (meaning we are aware of this), it has been fixed already, but the fix will go in only in the next build.” My discomfort was perhaps obvious, or so I thought, and suddenly he said – “Anu, whatever you may do today is not going to upset me because its Christmas time”. The second half of this sentence was very cheerful and upbeat. I knew he wasn’t upset, he wasn’t upset at all. I mean after this complete demo fiasco also he was not upset. Because it is Christmas time!! 18 days before 'The Day', the festivities had set in so well that nothing could upset him. Everything took a backseat. I staggered somehow to completion and he did not complain at all, and after the demo, he himself started with some facts about Christmas. I had not heard of them before, and quite enjoyed hearing those. More than anything else I was relieved. I thanked Christmas to be around for my/our rescue.

I am deeply impressed by this fact that festivities can engulf you and influence your mood so much. Takes me back to my days at home when all festivals, primarily holi and diwali brought in so much of enthusiasm that carried on for days. In the hustle-bustle of this life, like all other important things, these also have sadly taken a back seat. Their festivals are so bright and cheerful, and mine (all singles like me, away from home) are just holidays. I am left with this thought and still pondering over it as to how things can be back on track, when I get a forward from a team-mate – “list of holidays for the year 2008.” I scan the list quickly – can’t spot holi in this list. I scan the list once again, this time very slowly – still can’t spot holi in this list.
:(

aur duniya na dikhe

2007-11-18T20:09:00.000-08:00

Dard hai phir bhi nainon mein pyaar umde pyaar bahe

bandhanon mein preet jakdi kya zamaane se kahe

man thame phir bhi kahe tum maun hi rahna sakhe

band kar lo dono aankhein aur duniya na dikhe

Associations lead to Disassociations!

2007-11-18T20:01:00.000-08:00

Impractical as it may sound, it is quite a common phenomenon. People give up some of their dearest of things because they associate these things with some people in their lives. Subsequently like and dislike towards these things becomes commensurate with friendship or relationship with the person it is associated with. For instance, some people start avoiding their favourite fragrances after the person who wore it walks out of their lives. Some associate some songs with people or with some moments spent with them. These songs, which were beautiful always, suddenly start sounding painful after things do not remain the same between them.
Why should you give up something that you like for someone who doesn't care?

Talk about human behaviour

2007-11-18T19:50:00.000-08:00

16 grown-ups sitting in a circle. One game of Chinese whisper. Being played as part of corporate training. Trainer whispers something in the first person’s ear. I am third in the sequence. I hear one word whispered to me, and that is what I pass on. People are taking longer suddenly in the middle in passing the word. It is whispered into the last person’s ear. She has to now say out aloud. She says, “When you ask for a pencil, you get a pair of scissors.” Coming reverse in the same circle, you see some –
a. smiling faces – expression reads – yeah that’s right!
b. confused faces – expression reads – oh! This is not what I said.
c. stunned faces (includes mine, and the trainer’s too) – expression reads – what!!!!

Word to be passed on was “Serendipity”.

Can someone explain please.